FAITH NEVER FAILS

Season of Change and a Faith Adventure!

2012-01-26T10:39:00.002-06:00

I feel like I've posted that before. Huh. Seems like God is always working in our family using change...and lots of change! I better start at the beginning of this one...

Just before Thanksgiving my husband's flooring company went under and the entire team was laid off. We had been through this before, but the shock of the timing definitely through us off. We were hosting Thanksgiving for both families, how would we provide the food? Christmas and Kenzi's birthday were just around the corner, how was that going to look now? It took a few days for us to finally rest in the peace of God's plan and realize that we aren't meant to store up earthly treasures...there was going to be a big lesson learned for the Nash family! We learned over the next few weeks to trust like we never had before. Rent was due, the car needed gas, and our kids needed food. Through generous friends and an incredible church family, we were given everything we needed right when we needed it. We look back and laugh at how it all worked out, and praise God for not letting us see how really bad it was in the moment. I truly believe distractions were placed in our life to keep us busy and focused on others so that we wouldn't fall under the pressures of our own circumstances.

Out of this experience has grown an INCREDIBLE desire to join the mission field. We have been shown how little you really need to survive, and want more than anything to use this experience to take the next step towards a new lifestyle of simplicity. Which brings me to February, 2012.

We will be moving temporarily to a home in Wayzata until a sweet friend has her baby. Once that happens, a crazy plan will be set in motion! We have felt God calling us to new places, asking us to trust in Him like never before. For a while we were trying to figure out WHICH place was the right choice for our family. After weeks of praying, asking others for wise counsel, meeting with out pastor, and spending time in the Word, we have decided that sometimes God doesn't want to just TELL you...He wants to SHOW you! So we will be packing the car with the "simple things" and heading off on a Faith Adventure! We are going to go the places that have been laid on our heart and see what unfolds. It may be a conversation, an experience, an opportunity to bless someone in need, or a door to a new career for my husband. It is totally crazy, and we haven't gotten support from everyone that we have shared with, but we know that God has equipped us for this and we need to remain focused on that!

The verse our family has lived by through this crisis is Matthew 19:21-

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

Well, we have followed this verse word for word and it's time to FOLLOW...

Where to now, Lord?

2011-12-06T01:00:00.001-06:00

“…your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and he will give you everything you need” (Luke 12:30-31).
“So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34).

I've been putting off writing this because I have NO idea how to share what has been going on in our life this past month. I feel as though every morning I wake up there is a new twist in the story He has written for us. Here is my feeble attempt at best:

My husband and I have been feeling God's promptings to follow Him in ways that really stretch us. We were recently certified as foster parents and have been riding that emotional roller coaster for about a month now. We have also started to research more about our desire to become missionaries. We believe we have been through some of our difficult trials in the past few years so that He could better prepare us and equip us for that life. If I had responded to this email at the begining of Novemeber it would have said something like "We are loving our abundant life! We are comfortable and content, looking for new ways to serve Christ." My response now would be similar, minus the "comfortable and content". And I laugh as I write that, because comfortable and content is not exactly God's plan for his followers. So...shortly after He gave, He took away. My husband's company went under months before we were expecting it to and his entire program was laid off in early November. Our life is now back in His hands where it should have been all along. The crazy part is, my life of comfort these past 6 months in our beautiful home; church full of ministry possibilities; and close MOPS leadership team has been the most unfulfilling 6 months of my life. I can honestly say now that it is not the life I desire. I am so thankful to God for showing me that. I have now had a taste of what that kind of comfortable and abundant lifestyle would be like, and I can certainly live without those things if that's what it takes to further His Kingdom. Which is probably good, cause God is calling our family through a big change. My husband and I have spent the past 5 days in constant prayer, spending time in the Word, and reaching out to wise counsel. God has opened several doors for us in this short time! He has opened our eyes to connections in several different places and we have spent hours trying to discern what all of it means. There is a job opportunity in Texas and a mega church that could equip us for a mission in ways we can only dream, best friends offering their home in Chicago so that we could walk alongside them in their inner-city ministry (they live in the middle of a gang community where there is murder and weekly gun shots...talk about being on a mission in the US!), and there is another opportunity in MN that would still require us to find a new church home, new MOPS group, new home school coop...

My husband and I have prayed daily for God to show us which plan He has made for us at this time, and still we wait. I was getting frustrated this wknd when we didn't have the answer we thought we needed by Sunday night. And then I looked at my precious miracle baby...Selah...and was reminded of the meaning of her name. "Wait, and listen".

So for now, there is enough food on the table and warm clothes to wear...the rest we will have to go without. We have miraculously survived off of about $200 for the past 3 weeks, and we still have $60 left! Thank you Jesus! Christmas will mean something very different to the Nash family this year, and I am so grateful for that!

Heavy Heart

2011-10-13T01:07:00.000-05:00

Today was a heavy day. I was reminded that your life can change in a moment, and when you least expect it. There is a huge part of me that just wants to keep all of this a secret. I don't know how this will change relationships, but I know it will change things. And I don't handle change very well! Well, maybe I do, but I don't enjoy change. And part of me doesn't want to make this public because I fear judgement. And reactions that will be hurtful.

But I had a few friends remind me that it's important to be transparent so that God can use our trials as tools for others to see Him at work. So I share this as a very vulnerable mom. I'm not in a very good place with this circumstance, but perhaps through sharing it, I can find some refuge.

This journey started 18 months ago when we started noticing that Tori was different. At first, we found it entertaining. She would do odd things and we would laugh it off as "another Nash moment." We were constantly telling friends and family when her behavior was unusual that she was "just being Tori." It wasn't until her 2year check-up that we were told we needed to take these red flags more seriously.

We had Tori evaluated through the school district we lived in and it was quite the eye opening experience. All of a sudden, our baby girl went from being odd, to having a medical diagnosis. Because she was under the age of 3, they were very reluctant to label her with a specific diagnosis. After months of filling out tests and home evaluations, she was given the general diagnosis of DD- Developmental Delay. They said they would continue to watch for a more specific diagnosis under the umbrella of the Autism Spectrum Disorder or Emotional Behavior Disorder as she got older. At the time, the term EBD was a better fit for what they were seeing, so we talked about getting services towork on those symptoms.

Unfortunately, by the time we had finished the eval process, it was time to move. We all decided that it made more sense to start her therapies once we had moved into our new home in a different district. If I had only known at the time that our move would be delayed by many months...

So here we are now, almost one year later. Some of Tori's behaviors had gotten better since the move, while others had gotten much worse. We called the new district and asked for their opinion and they suggested that we have her evaluated again. So we went through the rigurous and time consuming process of evaluations again. This time, Kenny and I were confident that they would not find anything. We had convinced ourselves that we had things under control and that they would most likely say to us that she was a perfectly normal 3 year old just pushing out buttons. My heart just hurts as I write this. I was so naive.

Three people came from the district today to meet with us and discuss the results of all the testing. They sat across our kitchen table from us with stacks of paperwork. And then they told us news that will change our lives forever.

Our sweet Tori scored in the 99th percentile for EBD. She was now officially being labeled. I had to blink a few times and look around the room to make sure I was really there. I was sure this had to be a dream. The child psychologist went on to say that Tori was testing at the "clinically significant" level and would need intense therapies. They explained that they rarely make this diagnosis at such a young age because it is such a heavy label, but they were certain that this was the right choice for her. It was so hard to take in those words. I felt blindsided. Which probably sounds dumb since this was an option from the begining. But I had myself in this nice place of denial for so long.

After a few moments, I asked them what the next step should be. This is where the next part of my struggle comes in. They said Tori would qualify for 6 hours of therapy a week through the district, but it needed to be in a public preschool setting. I don't do public school! I am so passionate about homeschooling and the benefits of home education. I wanted to laugh and tell them the meeting was over, we were not interested. But something inside me said to "Wait...and listen." (The meaning of Selah, and a constant prompting from God lately!)

As I sat there trying to come up with all the reasons I was against this label and their idea for therapy, they were discussing the best placement for Tori. When they finally decided on the perfect fit for her, they shared it with us. I almost fell off my chair. My stomach flipped. And the dots connected. You see, the preschool they had chosen for her is in a private home. A few years ago, when I was pregnant with Tori, I was asked by a good friend that worked there to bring Kenzi and the dog for a few Show-N-Tells. I fell in love with this unique preschool that was run out of this cute home. I remember touring it and thinking that I would totally send my child there.

So here I am, 3 years later. And God is showing me the plan he had all along. And on Monday, our sweet girl will ride the "short bus"(It made us laugh when they tried to explain the bus without using this term!) to preschool where she will learn coping skills and social skills with her new Para and a Special Ed teacher.

And that's how our life changed today. The little girl that I thought was quirky was actually struggling with a very scary mental illness. I have to send her away to a place where she will most likely feel fear. And I have to know that she is in God's hands. Our children are not our own, but His. And His plan for her is much better than mine.

Lots of silent tears today, and a huge need to spend time with my husband to process this life change. In some way, I am mourning the loss of the child I had dreamed she would be. I know her life is still valuable and will be very fulfilling, but it will be in a very different way. They suggested we contact Children's Hospital right away and meet with a mental health specialist to determine the specifics of this illness. Most likely counseling and medication will play a big part of her life.

I struggle with how to share this with the people in our life. EBD is often an invisible disability because most of it's symptoms are internal. I have had friends tell me that they didn't think anything was wrong with Tori, which of course made me feel like they thought I was making it up. And I had a very honest friend share with me that they thought Tori was different because I didn't love her as much as our firstborn. The guilt overwhelmed me for days. So on one hand, it's nice to have a medical diagnosis. I'm not crazy. But on the other hand, well, I don't even know how to explain the pain I feel for my daughter today.

Heavy heart today. Preparing for more major changes in our life. And praying God will equip me to handle all of it.

What if I get both?

2011-10-03T01:38:00.001-05:00

I got to have dinner with a sweet friend tonight and it was exactly what I needed after a crazy weekend! I am the Event Coordinator for MOPS Area 9 (that's MN) and we hosted our first ever Mega Event!! It started off with a crazy treasure hunt at the MOA and finished then next day with some incredible worship and wonderful speakers. I have been preparing and planning for this event for months, and now that it is over, I feel lost! I have found in the past few years that I am an EXTREME extrovert. I need people and activity to fuel me. I loved every moment of my crazy weekend. And now I'm on to the next big adventure.

Which brings me back to dinner tonight. Dinner with a friend that gives me grace. Cause I'm not always good at being her friend. I tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of my life and forget that I need to make time for my precious friends. So tonight we shared some praises and some prayers that were on our hearts. And when I left, I felt like my eyes had been opened! You see, I had shared with her that I was struggling with tricky circumstance that is about to unfold in our home. I was looking at it as God testing me with two amazing choices...both at the same time. I felt He was asking me to choose the better one. But I have been stuck trying to figure out which one was better.

And that's when my brilliant friend said "Why do you have to choose one? I think God wants you to say yes to both."

WHAT????? But I can't handle both at the same time.

And her equally brilliant response "You're right, you can't. But when God is calling you to it, He will equip you."

I seriously drove home as if I had put glasses on for the first time. Everything seemed so clear...and obvious. Why didn't I think of that? Just cause there are two big life changes on the horizon doesn't mean God expects me to pick one. He could just be saying "Get ready. I'm about to take you on a ride."

I don't know what to call this ride. But I am ready to buckle up and hang on. God moved in huge ways today, showing me exactly where He wanted me to go on several occasions. And I was clearly reminded that He has His grip on me. And that is the image I will have to remember in the weeks to come. Cause this isn't going to be a kiddie ride...

Hah!

2011-09-30T02:27:00.000-05:00

I laugh as I look at the title of my last post. (Yes, 3 months ago, don't remind me!) Perspective is such an incredibly powerful word. I was using it to describe the story of an experience that was going to be told by 3 different people. Two of us have some work to do!! But today, I use the word perspective in a whole new light. A brave little girl that our family adores was put to the test today as she went through an intense back surgery. So there is a dose of perspective!

I find myself looking around at the people God has placed in my life right now. I have some friendships that have gone deeper than I ever could have imagined. I also have some struggles that are more difficult than I can put words to. And I think the two go hand in hand on purpose. God has arranged my circle of friends just right so that I can be held accountable, encouraged, guided, taught, reminded, and supported as He brings us through yet another season of uncertainty!

I don't know what the next few weeks will change for our family, but I know He is preparing us for it. I can feel it. And so can my husband. The mixture of excitement and absolute confusion require us to once again let go of our earthly desires and instead turn our faces heavenward! I hope to begin to have some clarity in the next few days as I devote intentional time in the Word and join my husband in heavy prayer. But I will do so with perspective...the kind that knocks you to your feet when you realize that all things are possible when you give it to God!

Check out my friend's blog to read the story of their brave Trinity! http://babygirlarthur.blogspot.com/

Perspective

2011-06-14T09:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I sat down to write the story of the past few days at least 5 times. I just couldn't do it. I have dealt with so much guilt throughout this pregnancy and now delivery, it has been so different than the stories of my other 3 children. Selah deserves the very best I have, and I mistakingly let the guilt sink in yesterday as I realized I wasn't posting on Facebook, I wasn't blogging, I wasn't taking pictures...

And that's another reason why God sent my sweet friend "A" into my life! I woke up this morning to the most amazing email from her, and her perspective on Selah's birth story! What an awesome sense of peace to know He will provide exactly what I need through all of this...

BIRTH STORY-Alyssa's Persepective

I witnessed a miracle. The orchestration of the birth of Selah, is nothing short of a miracle. The way God’s hand was in every single little detail is practically incomprehensible. This delivery did not go according to our earthly plans but it did go according to His master plan.

Months ago I felt this inexplainable desire to be at the delivery of my friend, Britni’s baby. I never said anything to her, because although we were good friends, we weren’t the very best intimate type of friend that you would invite to your birth. One day she told me, “I feel like you have a connection to this baby.” “Oh my word! I feel the same way!” I could hardly contain my excitement. I asked her to be at the delivery and she said, “you have to be!” Her hubby approved it and on we went with our lives.

As the due date slowly approached, I looked at my calendar and wondered how in the world I was ever going to be able to follow through with our birth-attending plan with my daycare children, husband’s busy work schedule, family in town, and my own nursing baby at home. I prayed for the timing of the birth of this baby - of course I prayed selfishly, but also for the timing for Britni as she also has a lot on her plate (she’s moving!).

Fast forward to 6.11.11. I woke up at a little after 1:00am and saw a few missed texts from Britni.

June 10, 2011 11:14 PM

“Still 5 min apart and getting bad...called midwife and she said oh crap...hospital is closed, they are full.”

June 10h, 2011 11:41 PM

“It’s go time!!!” And I had more beans at dinner tonight...this is gonna be bad.”

I panic, I laugh, I ask Eric if I can go to the hospital. I throw on my jeans from the day before and head out the door wondering if I may have missed it all! I pray the entire way to the hospital. The very hospital where I’ve delivered 3 precious babies.
I arrive at the hospital, get my picture taken for my security sticker and head up to the 3rd floor. Hubert buzzes me in and tells me “You DON’T want to be in there.” I ask him to please call the room because they wanted me there for the delivery. My mind is racing, “Why can’t I be in there? Did she lose the baby? Is she pushing the baby out at this very instant? Has something gone terribly wrong?...” Hubert gets permission for me to go into the room.

I enter the room. There is laughter. There is joy. Britni tells me that nurse Kelly is her dear friend and stayed late just so Brit could come to St Francis even though they were technically “full.” Wow, what a good friend. Kenny is updating the blog on his phone. Britni’s other friend, Laura, is getting ice water for Brit and making sure she’s comfy.

We laugh, we pray Britni through painful medicine-less contractions, we laugh some more, we spray industrial strength air freshener (remember the bean comment), I photograph and try to keep my view G rated.
Things start picking up a little bit. The midwife comes in and check Britni. The nurse checks Britni. The midwife checks Britni again. “What do you feel?” “What do you feel?”
Baby is not quite in the right position so the midwife and nurse get Britni out of bed, and have her do lunges with her leg up on the edge of the bed. By this time, there is no more laughing, there is much more praying and I’ve given up on my G rated view. The midwife thinks this could be it, baby might just come while Britni is standing. Britni begs for pain meds, but Theresa, the midwife, attempting to honor Brit’s original request to go with out meds encourages her to try to lunges a bit more.

Lunges don’t work. Brit gets back in bed and they check her again, nurse, midwife, nurse, midwife. “The nose is this way?” “The cheek is that way?” “I feel the cheek.” “Yes, I do too.”
Ok, let’s push. I’m not really sure if the goal was to push the baby out at this time or just to push the baby into a better position. They finally order Britni an epidural. “It’s ok Britni, an epidural is on the way. Let’s just try pushing one more time.”
“Where is the epidural?” ... “How long has it been since I ordered the epidural?”

“Where’s the midwife?”... “Can you please see where the midwife is?”

“Can you check her again?” ... “What are you feeling?”

“We need to page the doctor.” ... “We need to page the doctor again.” “We need to page Dr. Jenkins.”...
Things are unclear. I’m snapping pictures. I’m praying out loud. I’m singing “How Great is our God” to myself while I stand out of the way in the corner. Another nurse comes in. The anesthesiologist comes in. “We need to prep the OR.”
Finally the midwife gets ahold of the doctor, “Baby is face presentation, we’re prepping the OR.” My breath stops. My mind is reeling. “Face presentation.” “Prep the OR.” Britni is going to have a c-section. Brit didn’t see this coming. Britni is so calm. Wow. I’m totally surprised.

“Face presentation.” “Prep the OR.” I’ve heard those words before. It’s almost as if I’m witnessing the birth of my first born son all over again. What are the chances? Funny you ask because Wikipedia says that face presentation frequency ranges from 1/500-1/1250.
The nurses kick Laura and I out of the room. We wait at the end of the hall. We pray. We make small talk. We pray. We watch. We photograph. We wait. We pray. We wait. We pray over the recovery room. We wait. The seconds literally tick by.
A little after 3:00 am I hear the most beautiful sound. The scream of a newborn baby. We watch the doorway with anticipation and are filled with joy as the proud father walks into the room, pushing his precious baby girl in the bassinet with the hugest smile on his face. Kenny’s eyes are filled with love for his 3rd daughter but I can still see the pain and concern for his beautiful wife whom he left in the OR by herself. When Britni was rolled through those same doors she was alert, smiling the best she could and just trying to process the events of the past few moments. It was a whirlwind. It was a calculated frenzy to ensure a healthy baby. Britni was in the best of hands... and the best of Hands.
This is only the beginning of “God’s Selah Story.” This story is just one of God’s miracles. This story isn’t just one miracle, it’s a string of them. Nurse Kelly is Britni’s Godly friend. Britni and I share this unique birth experience. The birth of a healthy baby. The love of a faithful husband. The skilled hands of nurses, midwifes and surgeons. The encouragement of Christian caregivers. The outpouring of love by concerned friends.
I can see these amazing miracles (and I’m sure there are many more I can’t see) and how God orchestrated this precious event. What I’m still waiting to see, and it may not come here on earth is, “why?” I bet God has a really cool answer for that question. My own “why” questions after my “face presentation emergency c-section” experience are starting to be answered; so that I could walk alongside my dear friend 4 years later as she experienced this very same traumatic event.
This is God’s plan and we can find peace knowing that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
-Alyssa

Stretched to Capacity

2011-06-13T06:43:00.000-05:00

It's 5am. I'm sitting in a hospital bed. Everything hurts.

And I am so happy...because I am finally feeling again.

Apologies to those that have been checking in to read the story I promised many hours ago. Until this moment, I had no desire to find the words to use that would be required to tell the story of the past 48 hours.

I have been stretched by God in every way through this pregnancy. Seems silly that I thought He would be done once labor began. But He wasn't even close to done with me yet. I have been given the opportunity to grow in many ways over these past few days, and I wake up today with assurance that He will guide me through the healing and recovery I seek.

During Mackenzi's hospitalization for her spinal tumor 2 years ago, I learned that putting words to the scary experience and sharing them with others through Caring Bridge was my coping mechanism. It was a way for me to process an event I couldn't quite comprehend in the moment.

Well, I'm going to try that again. I have a lot of processing to do. But first, I need a nap! The random 7 hours of sleep I have had since giving birth is not going to be enough to get me through this post!

Selah

2011-06-12T23:53:00.002-05:00

(This post is written by Brit's amazing friend "A")

Selah Nash

"Be still and listen."

Born 6.11.11

3:01am

7lbs 14 oz

19.5 inches

Her name was placed on Brit's heart months ago and now as she holds this precious baby in her arms, this gift from God could not have been more perfectly named.

She is peaceful and snuggly.

She's a good nurser and a good pooper.

Selah fits perfectly in her mothers arms and nuzzles in her neck.

When mom or dad speak she strains to look at them.

She is alert and doesn't want to miss a beat.

She wears at least 3 outfits a day and already has 4 huge floral headbands.

Her dark hair is thick and fluffy.

Mom is glowing and Dad's face shows nothing but pride.

Although the delivery did not go as planned, this baby is exactly what God has planned.

Selah is healthy and strong. Mom is on the road to recovery. The hospital staff are empathetic, attentive and compassionate. The room is filled with prayer, laughter, tears, farts, joy, music, pizza, friends, family, diet coke, double stuffed el fudge, cameras, a fan, gift bags, redbox movies and pink blankets. Most of all her room is filled with love. Their cups are overflowing. Thank you Lord for this precious miracle.

Baby...

2011-06-11T05:08:00.001-05:00

Has arrived! 7lbs 14 oz...that's all the details for now! Not the way we planned, Brit was rushed to an emergency c-section. It all happened so fast, I'm not really sure what to say. We can post more after talking with the staff tomorrow. For now, Brit needs to just recover from another traumatic delivery. Visitors will be welcome on Sunday!

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We are at the Hospital!

2011-06-11T01:31:00.002-05:00

We arrived at the hospital just after midnight. Contractions have been going steady for a few hours. Her water has broken and things have started getting intense. Looks like she's ready to go, just waiting for baby to drop. Can't wait to meet our new blessing!
~Kenny

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And...

2011-06-09T15:46:00.000-05:00

Still waiting! I can't believe I have still not met this little one. This is my 4th full term pregnancy and I never guessed it would be the longest! The other kids came 3,2, and 1 week early. The last few days have been an emotional and physical roller coaster as we have thought "THIS IS IT" at least 5 times. The contractions are intense, but inconsistent. Just more practice apparently! I was 5cm at my midwife appt. on Wednesday...the appt. she said I wouldn't make it to cause I would for sure have a baby by then. Hah! This baby has a mind of it's own already, oh boy.

The good news is, I think we have the names figured out now. I think. The girl name has been on our heart since we first learned of this surprise, and it just feels right! The boy name is a little bit tougher, but I'm pretty sure we will know once we see the baby. I can't wait to post the meanings behind the name once baby is here! Possibly later today?!?!

So more waiting for the Nash family...and more prayer that baby come before the big move in 5 days!!!

I can't believe I'm about to have a baby...

It's official!!!

2011-05-24T17:12:00.000-05:00

Woah....posting twice in one week. This is wierd! Anyways...

It's absolutely official. We are physically ready for BABY! As in, we have the "supplies needed to support a newborn within our apartment walls." It doesn't look like anything I imagined, but it works. There is a place for baby to sleep, there is a place to store 4, maybe 5 outfits (better be a boy!), and there is a cheap/crappy diaper organizer thingy hanging on the wall. Yep, it's our 4th child. I can't help but laugh when I think back to the room we had created for our FIRST born! My how things have changed...

Working on transparency, I must admit that I still struggle with the arrival of this baby mentally. I can not say that I am ready. I have been on my knees many times in the past few weeks asking for God to change my heart. I have moments throughout the day when I honestly forget I am pregnant, and if you could see a picture of me right now, that would probably blow your mind! I have tried so many things to connect with this SURPRISE...purposefully buying maternity clothes that say things like "Baby", making a shirt that says "Due in June" (not so much for other people, but really a reminder for myself), buying things the baby will need, researching names, setting up the room, working on a birth plan. But something is still missing. And it's a very unsettling feeling to know that. My sweet husband has even gone as far as buying me "Countdown Gifts", which he gives me each Friday when I get one week closer to the due date. It's not working, but don't tell him that! I LOVE the gifts!!

So there it is...honest and raw. I am 3cm dialated, 50% efaced. There is a baby coming at any moment. And I'm scared. Will I love this baby once I am holding it in my arms? Am I not allowing myself to connect with this blessing just because I didn't ask for it? Did the birthing experience with Graham screw me up forever? Or is God just teaching me to be patient, forcing me to rely on Him and His plan...and to trust that I will soon have an answer to all of this.

James 1:2-4 (The Message)

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Nesting

2011-05-22T17:59:00.001-05:00

Is there anything better than that nesting that hits you when you're pregnant?? I honestly amaze myself with what I get done during one of my "episodes." I suppose today's episode was brought on with a little pressure...I have been tortured with those ridiculously painful and annoying contractions you get the few weeks before baby arrives so your body can "practice." Um...seriously...this is my body's 5th experience with a baby, does it really need to practice again???

Oh yeah, and we're moving in 3 weeks.

So life for the Nash family is absolutely crazy these days as we wait for the little blessing God decided we needed and get ready to move once again!

God is so, so good my friends. I just can't help but smile today :)

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Surrender

2011-04-22T16:26:00.002-05:00

So our season of pruning has passed, and I now find myself knee-deep in surrender! First, an update on my last post:

Home- We are not where we hoped we'd be when we started this crazy journey of moving, but it's not in our hands and it's just the way it is. We had to move to an apartment for a while until the details of our future home can be worked out. It's completely inconvenient, expensive, and far away from our daily activities...but it works. I am learning to live off the bare necessities, so that has been kinda cool. But I really want to be in my "home". If I had known 6 months ago when we first started this process that the plan would drastically change, I'm not sure I would have chosen this particular path. A family of 5(very soon to be 6) living in a 2 bedroom is not the easiest way to live, but I have enjoyed the closeness with my family. The most recent "Move-in Day" delay came as quite a surprise, and it now looks as though we won't be able to move in until the weekend the baby is due. My first reaction was sadness, how could we bring a brand new baby back to our tiny apartment? Where will the baby sleep? That's not what it was supposed to look like. And then I think about Jesus...he was born in a stable! I like to be in control, have an agenda, and have things go according to plan. Ha! Not this time...

Kids-
T had a few good weeks in a row and it was so refreshing to get to know her in a different way! She was happy for the first time in months, and the EBD symptoms were much more under control. Unfortunately, it was a short phase, and we are now seeing the symptoms at their worst. She continues to be different than the other kids her age in more obvious ways every day, and her emotions spiral out of control quicker than ever before. She spends a lot of her time in a "safe place"...corners of rooms, under tables, inside tents. We were hoping to get therapies started with the new school district once we moved, but the moving delay has set us back a few months. So for now, we educate ourselves on this issue by reading books and talking to other parents in our shoes. We often talk about taking her to a Child Psychologist like we were recommended, but we are selfishly fearful of going down that path already.

K had her spinal scans and looks great!!! No signs of a returning tumor, and her vertebrae continue to regrow! Her complications are not symptoms of another tumor, but probably have more to do with her surgery. She will be seeing her urologist soon to get those issues taken care of and addressed. Hooray!

G is now our walking MONSTER!!!! He lives to eat, destroy, and bug Tori. He makes us laugh every day, I never imagined I'd have a child like this. Our soon to arrive baby doesn't stand a chance...

Homeschool- I don't even know where to begin!!! This will need to be covered in a future post. We just attended the big MACHE conference for christian homeschoolers in MN and it was life changing. Lots to share...hopefully soon! Haha

SO back to surrender...

The crown I feel called to wear right now is surrender. I hear the word in scripture, music, and through conversations with people I truly respect almost every day! I don't struggle with surrending most of my life, but I find that I am hanging on to a few things. And this surprise baby makes the top of this list.

Check-in

2011-04-11T18:28:00.000-05:00

So the other day I had a much needed "check-in" with God. I am leading an amazing group of women through the Margaret Feinberg bible study, The Sacred Echo. If you haven't read it, I encourage you to! She talks about listening for God's calling in your life through the echos and repetition you see and hear throughout the day. One of my echos has been this blog. I started it with great intentions, a place to post new family pics and share with friends and fmaily about the latest adventures of our crazy family. But it turned into a place of complete transparency as we dealt with a series of difficult circumstances. I found my fingers typing words that were not coming from my mind, but my soul. I would pour out my private thoughts for all the world (ok...maybe the 3 people that sometimes read this!) to read, and then wonder who on earth could have written such raw thoughts after hitting save. After a while, and a period of intense testing by God, I allowed myself to get distracted from my blog and to put my words in other places. Well, I am writing today, completely convicted of a "Sacred Echo", and promising to return to this blog and share my faith with others. I don't always know what that means, but I trust that God will lay it out for me in the days to come.

So here I go again...

Living in the present

2011-02-02T10:35:00.000-06:00

This past month has been another season of pruning for our family! We continue to stand amazed by what God's plan is for our family and united we attempt to navigate through the obstacles He has placed before us.

We are working on patience as we wait for our housing situation to be clear. I like to plan and I do much better when I have specific dates for major events...like moving...so this has been difficult for me! I wonder if we will be in our new home before my next blog post?!

Our sweet daughter T was diagnosed with special needs this week, and we work on seeking wisdom as we learn about her disorder and how this changes our life. We are blessed to have many people that care about her and want the best for her, but it can be confusing to hear differing opinions on her treatment. I was reminded by a dear friend that God made her EXACTLY the way He wanted her to be, and I am just going to focus on that for awhile!

We work on trust as we continue to go through this unexpected pregnancy. We had our 20 week ultrasound this week and saw the amazing heart beat of a baby that was created for a reason. I will be honest and say that I am still unsettled about this pregnancy, but there was a split second during the ultrasound where I finally felt some compassion for this crazy plan of His! It is officially a baby, boy or girl we don't know. Since this was not our plan, we decided to stay out of it...until baby arrives and then I really don't have a choice!

Today, I work on boldness and faith as I go to our first real homeschooling event! Mackenzi is beyond excited, I am feeling a little nervous. I know I am called to walk into this crazy journey with our kids, but it's never easy to do it alone. I am anxious to meet the people that I may spend the rest of my life sharing stories and ideas with, and hopeful that it will be the perfect place for the Nash kids!

Today, we also deal with sadness. 2 years ago today, we lost a baby boy we had named Tyler. He was a wonderful blessing in our life as we journeyed through Mackenzi's tumor diagnosis, and I still struggle with why we weren't allowed to keep him forever. Pregnant again with a child we didn't plan on makes it all that more confusing.

Tomorrow we will celebrate with joy because Graham turns ONE!!! He is the happiest, chubbiest, most curious little boy and I can't imagine loving a baby more! I am exhausted just watching him sleep, he truly is an active little guy. I am amazed at how different each gift from God is created, and grateful to be given a child like Graham! Pure Joy!

And in a few days, we will work on trust some more as Mackenzi goes into the hospital for her yearly CT and MRI. It has been 2 years since doctors removed a tumor from her spine, and we continue to pray for God to heal her body and keep the tumor away. We are a little nervous because of some symptoms she is experiencing, but it could be nothing! She is a very brave little girl!!

So for now the Nash's focus on living in the present and getting through each day. God is with us now and isn't worried about the past or future, so we work on growing the fruit of the spirit and put our trust in Him every morning! Lots of answered prayers in next months post...just don't know how they will be asnwered! Kind of exciting...

Homeschool...

2010-12-26T22:08:00.000-06:00

It's official! We are following the calling to homeschool our kids with Christian curriculum. I had convinced myself that we would just "try" homeschooling while Kenzi was in preschool, but that was clearly not His plan. The more I homeschool, the more I research, and the more moms I meet that homeschool, the more I know that we are following a difficult calling! Every time I have a doubt or meet someone who questions our choice God sends someone into my life that is already walking this challenged path. I can't stop smiling! have met some of the most amazing kids that are homeschooled, and I am so looking forward to raising children with those same values. I know there will be days of struggle, hurtful comments, and long days with no breaks...but Kenny and I just can't find a good enough reason NOT to homeschool! I tried convincing myself that we could "fit in" the Christian education piece when the kids got home from "normal" school, but that's just ridiculous. As if my 30 minutes of parenting will compare to their 8 hours of school surrounded by unbelievers and "worldly thinkers"...and that's not including sports time! I have put together a SHORT list of reasons why the Nash kids will be homeschooled...do any of them speak to you?!?!

• To stand up for Christ in a world that knows nothing about Him.

• To glorify God and build Godly character

• To teach the difference between academics, the “real” world, and our Christian duty

•To teach good stewardship

• So we can weave the biblical view into all subjects

• To be a strong Christian witness to my community by letting others know I take my faith seriously every day of the week, not just Sunday’s

• To tailor the lessons for each child, encourage kids to work in areas they have talent and help them to master areas they are weak in

• To build close relationships with people in our family

• So my kids are able to live and study in an environment free from drug/alcohol abuse, profanity, and other anti-social behavior.

Selah

2010-12-01T05:10:00.000-06:00

Selah has become my new favorite word. It's found in the Psalms 39 times, and I'm pretty sure God thinks that word is a big deal! The only word I say that many times in one day is "No", and to a mom, that's a pretty big word!

Selah.

It translates to a few different things, but the one I like most is "Let those with eyes see and ears hear." It means STOP and LISTEN. And that is something God is clearly asking me to do right now. I feel pulled in a million directions once again, why is it that things seem to always fall apart at the same time? There are so many things my heart wants to do right now, but I completely hear God telling me to STOP and LISTEN. His plan is not always my plan. And right now our plans are miles apart!

Selah.

So I wait, trying to imagine a plan better than my own. I know one day I will look back and see how it all made sense, but right now it's taking everything I've got to just stop. I'm not so good at stopping. Which is probably exactly why God is continuously reminding me to STOP and LISTEN. Easier said than done, but we usually aren't called to do easy things.

Oops, I did it again!

2010-10-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's been another month since I last posted. And boy has our life changed since that post!!

The morning after Kenny's baptism with Westwood, he got a phone call from a major flooring company. They knew Kenny from his past job at Shaw because they were his biggest competitors. Well, the tables have turned and they wanted him to come in for an interview!! 5 interviews later...he was given an offer! Yes, my faithful prayer warriors, Kenny is now employed again!!!!! I will let him share his story in his own post!

We have been blind-sided by many things lately, a tangible reminder that we are not the ones in control! We have been going through the "One Month To Live" series at church this month and it has been the most wonderful timing. We have been stripped of many things, all earthly desires. We are now at a place of comfort again, and we anticipate a very different life going forward after "THE SUMMER OF 2010"! Actually, we should probably rename this chapter of our life because we were blind-sided again with news just this past week. We knew God wasn't quite done with us...

What a month...

2010-09-13T01:31:00.001-05:00

It's been one month since I last blogged, I can't believe it. Between my 5 jobs, 4 different ministries, bible studies, and kids activities, blogging has taken a back seat! It hasn't been an easy month, and there are MANY things to blog about, but I want to start off with the most important event.

Kenny was baptised!!!!!!

As Christians, we believe several things about Baptism, according to the Gospel:

1-Faith must preceed Baptism, so being baptized as an infant is not valid. You have to make the choice and believe for yourself before being baptised.

"He that believes and is baptised shall be saved" -Mark 16:16. Baptism represents a serious, life-altering commitment. It is only for those mature enough to understand the importance of their decision. Children are simply not able to properly comprehend and make such a serious and lifelong commitment. In every specific example of baptism mentioned in the Bible, we see that those being baptized were old enough and mature enough to understand repentance, baptism and the gravity of their decision. Nowhere can we find a single example of an infant or child being baptised.

2- Baptism needs to be full immersion, not a forehead sprinkling.

All biblical examples reveal that baptism was always performed in a body of water large enough and deep enough for immersion. John 3:23, for example, tells us that John the Baptist "was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there." Matthew records that when Jesus was baptized He "came up immediately from the water" (Matthew 3:16).
The Greek word "baptizo" means to immerse and has no other meaning.

3- Baptism is a public testemony and must be done in front of others.

Baptism should be done in the presence of other believers after publically announcing your faith in Jesus Christ. Baptism is a public declaration of being saved and identifying oneself with their Savior. Whatever the circumstance, a true believer will obey the Lord and not be ashamed or hide their salvation.

Today also marks what would have been Tyler's 1st birthday! We found out we were pregnant with him the day before we learned of Mackenzi's tumor. He was the light of our life during those scary and difficult weeks and we can't wait to hold him someday in Heaven and tell him how much he meant to us! We were technically 14 weeks pregnant when we lost Tyler, though the doctors said his little body had developed more like a 10 or 11 week baby. There were signs in the begining that things were not right, but when he continued to grow, we had hope! The autopsy revealed that he was most likely a boy that we miscarried because of a Trisomy defect. We lost Tyler just a few days before Mackenzi went into surgery, and I'm not sure we ever truly grieved his loss. There are things that remind us of him every day, and in those moments we grieve.

Our hearts are heavy for you today Tyler, Happy 1st Birthday!

MOPS Convention Day 3

2010-08-08T02:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know if there is anything better than starting the morning off with worship by Christy Nockels! I wish I could do this every morning. It's so refreshing to sing praise to our God, and prepare for the day ahead with a full heart. I have fallen in love with her music!

We had a fantastic general session focused on the art of being a mom. They did such an amazing job with the skits and topics this weekend, I was very impressed. After our general, we ran back to the room to make sandwiches (that we bought from the grocery store yesterday...that we walked to). After our 5 minute break, we ran back to go to our final breakout. I wish I had worn my heart rate monitor this weekend because we ran back and forth to our room about a hundred times!

My breakout was titled "First Generation Christians". The speaker told her story of how she was raised in a non-believer family and the terrible things that happened to her in her home. There were about 20 of us in the room, and many of us got to share our own story. Every single one of us had been through something very painful, but every single one of us came through it a believer! There was not a dry eye in the room by the time our session was over. I can say that I was very proud to be called a "Pioneer Parent" today. It has not been an easy road, and I have paid a very high price for my faith. But I did it for my kids, and so that we may walk in faith as a family.

After another run to our room for more snacks (we both vowed NOT to look at the scale when we got home!) we said goodbye to our MN roomie. Getting to know Kari was so much fun, we are so blessed to have spent these past few days with her. She took care of us so well!

We were waiting at the elevator and I turned to see who was walking up..it was CHRISTY NOCKELS!!!! DO you know her? Do you love her music? Cause I do!!!! I almost fell over. THen I almost jumped on her. Then I almost kissed her...well not really. But I can't describe the smile on my face as we all got on the elevator together and had the mst amazing ride EVER. I think I said about 2 words, most likely not in English. I was so star-struck. We got to our floor and I announced that I wasn't getting off, but then I remembered it wasn't cool to be a stalker, so I did. And my heart didn't stop racing for an hour!

Later we went to the final session of convention. We sang more worship songs with my new BFF (cause we rode an elevator together and it was a very special time for both of us!), found out we raised over $30,000, and learned about next year's convention plans. It was a very emotional session, filled with all kinds of encouragement and hope. I am so in love with MOPS!

Amy and I had a hard time deciding whether or not to go to Disney World- Magic Kingdom. The mommy guilt kicked in big time! We opted for Downtown Disney instead, and got in our very first Town Car! We had a lovely dinner at Rain Forest Cafe, did some shopping for the kids, and stopped for ice-cream at the Ghiardhelli store. (Amy made me). Then we took another Town Car back to our beautiful hotel (very strange driver by the way, right Amy?!?!). Amy and I stayed up until 3am talking about our Mops group and how amazing it is. Our leadership team is so strong and we are so grateful to have such a great support network. We have lots of fabulous ideas to continue to grow our program and can't wait to get home and share them with the others.

This weekend was much needed, and I go home a better mom!

MOPS Convention Day 2

2010-08-07T00:33:00.000-05:00

Another amazing day surrounded by moms who love the Lord! We started off the day with worship songs by Mandisa and some gifted speakers. Then we broke into "positionals" to learn more about our personal role in MOPS this year. I met some wonderful girls from another state and we shared the triumphs and struggles we had experienced as DGL's. I worked on setting goals for myself so that I can be a better DGL to the moms this year. I really need to work on being more connected to the moms in my group and knowing their needs. I need to be more intentional in my relationship with them!

After a short break (to thaw out...the a/c was on freezing) we went to our first breakout. My topic was 10 ways to de-stress your life as a mom. AMAZING! My second breakout was How to keep the romance alive. AMAZING! I learned so much today that my brain is full. I can't wait to take all of the things I learned back to our MOPS group and share it with them. It's time to start changing our world...or at least our community!

We finished the evening with a concert by Go Fish. What a neat group of guys, I love their story! Amy and I decided to enjoy our night without kids to the fullest and went to the piano bar until 1am. We will probably regret that tomorrow morning, oh well!

Time to sleep and dream of my kids!

MOPS Convention Day 1

2010-08-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

The day started off early...3:30am! But I was so excited to experience this weekend that I hopped right out of bed. Kenny drove Amy and I to the airport and we both got to experience our first CHILD FREE security check point, it was heavenly! Our first flight went by quickly and we decided to stop for lunch during our layover in Atlanta. We ended up at TGI Fridays with a very happy/strange/kinda creepy server. But again, it was CHILD FREE, therefor heavenly! Our second flight was a little scarry as we hit quite a bit of turbulence. We were both happy to land on solid ground, in FLORIDA!!

We met up with another MN mom at our absolutely rediculously beautiful hotel, the Gaylord Palms. We got settled in and then decided to tour our new home for the next few days. We stopped by the "Resource Fair" and loaded up with free christian goodies, so fun!!! Then we went off to our first general session.

The Katinas (a christian band of 5 brothers) started it off with a bang! They sang "Blessed Be Your Name" and I was mvoed to tears (surprise, surprise!).

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

I so love that song. My favorite line is "You give and take away, but my heart will choose to stay". God has stripped us of many things lately, but our hearts have only grown more fond of Him. We know that he is preparing our family for something very special, so we will just wait in faith!

The speaker tonight told a story of their foster care daughter. (Kenny and I are currently in the licensing process for foster care so this really hit home!!) She was not growing and the peds couldn't figure out why. After 2 years of no growth, they decided it was time to try some drastic therapies. Right before the appointment, the family adopted their foster care child and gave her a forever home! At the next appointment, she had grown 2 inches!!! The doctor said it was because she finally felt "safe to grow". And that, my friends, is exactly why we love foster care. Praying God will send us our foster kids soon!!!!

The speaker left us with an inspiring message and told us "Be proud to be a mommy tonight!" I so am :)

I'm in better hands NOW!!!!!!!

2010-07-13T10:25:00.000-05:00

Being in Colorado with En Route was amazing, but coming home to my rockstar husband and beautiful kids was even better!! Kenny had them waiting at church with signs when the bus pulled up, and I couldn’t get off the bus fast enough. Mackenzi’s voice had changed, Tori’s hair had grown, and Graham grew a few extra rolls in his thighs! Kenny made a journal while I was gone of all the things the kids did and funny things they said...it even had pictures!! So cool.

Seeing my family filled me with joy, but knowing that I was coming home to a very unstable lifestyle was bittersweet. Kenny still hasn’t been able to find a job, we have no health insurance, and we have officially outgrown our home and need a new place to live. This experience of the past 4 months has changed our marriage, our kids, and dependence on God. We know that God has been preparing us for something…something very big!!

My constant prayer has become a prayer of submission. I give my life to Him every morning and promise to do whatever it is that He calls me to. I have never felt closer to God than in the past month and the sense of peace I have is overwhelming. I have found that it is in these times that he is preparing me for an unexpected change. The last time I can remember feeling this way was when Mackenzi was diagnosed with a spinal tumor.

Just before leaving for Colorado, a friend that is a nurse called to tell me that one of the nursing assistants on her floor had quit and that I should apply for the job. I thought, “That would be a dream come true. Does God really want to bless me with something so ridiculously amazing already? Wouldn’t that count as a miracle?” I sent in my application and called to connect with the hiring manager. When I didn’t hear back before I left for CO, I assumed she wasn’t interested. As we started our journey back home to MN, my cell phone finally got service and message after message came flooding in. One of them was from the hiring nurse manager. Then the texts came flooding in. My friend the nurse was concerned that I hadn’t returned the manager’s message and that I needed to asap. I did! Again, a few days passed and when she didn’t respond, I figured I had missed my chance. Obviously this was not where God wanted me or the timing would have been better. After all, I was in the mountains sharing with high school girls about Jesus!! I was crushed, but excited to see what else He had in store for me.

A few days later, I got a phone call form the manager asking me to come in for an interview. What?!?! I went to the interview, a nervous wreck. Not only was this my dream job, but I could potentially get a full time job with benefits and change our family’s life. No pressure! I called a few friends and asked them to pray during my interview, and then I had my only little chat with God! I have to admit…I nailed the interview. She mentioned several times that she had a stack of 50 applications to pull from and that the other applicants all had experience. I stressed that I was a quick learner and that she wouldn’t be disappointed if she gave me a chance. I left the interview feeling good about the experience, but knowing that she would most likely be offering the job to someone else more qualified. She said she would call me either way on Thursday morning.

Thursday morning came and went. As did Friday. And Saturday. I was heartbroken but not shocked. Like I said, it would be a miracle for her to chose me. I figured she probably offered it to someone else and was giving them the weekend to think it over. In case I was right, I started praying STRONGLY that the other applicant would turn it down and that God would give her a different path. Huh, wishful thinking?! At a birthday party with friends on Saturday, I got some advice about calling the manager to check in and express that I still had interest in the job. The next night, I got brave (not white water rafting brave, but having a baby with no medicine brave) and left a bold message for the manager. It was totally out of my comfort zone, but I felt God pushing me to do it. I prayed over my phone and the words I would leave on her voicemail…I’m sure that was an interesting sight!! And then I just did it.

Today, my half birthday, I went to the golf store with Kenny and the kids to pick up a new golf glove. I casually answered the phone when it rang and felt my heart literally stop when I heard the nurse manager on the other end! She said she had gotten my message and wanted to tell me that she had offered the position to someone else. Shocker.

BUT THE OTHER GIRL JUST CALLED TO TURN IT DOWN AND SHE WAS NOW OFFERING ME THE POSITION

Wait…what?????? I almost fell over. Kenny threw his hands up in the air. I caught my breath. What?????? Sure enough, my prayers were ANSWERED. I was being offered my dream job this very moment, there are no words to describe what that felt like.

I heard Natalie Grant’s song “In Better Hands Now” tonight when I was in my car and it gave me shivers. Here is how the song touched me:

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
-our life is currently built on shifting sand, it’s a scary place to be

It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
-I feel like it’s so hard to project all of my joy in such a dark time

You can't be free if you don't reach for help
-I have had to accept help from my friends in so many ways during this time

And you can't love if you don't love yourself
- I recently started a weight loss program to finally lose the baby weight and love myself again

But there is hope when my faith runs out
-I can honestly say my faith has never run out, but I love the feeling if hope

Cause I'm in better hands now
-God’s in control now!

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pourin' down
-I feel like this job is a sunshine blessing amidst all the rain

It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
-Love this!!! I feel giddy, full of joy, and ready to take on the world

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
-How could I ever doubt God after an answer to prayer like this?

I'm in better hands now
-Thank you Jesus

I am strong all because of you
-I couldn’t have done this on my own

I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
-One of my favorite verses. He moved a major mountain in our life! There is no way I should have gotten this job.

I am changed yesterday is gone
-Everyday I start anew

I am safe from this moment on
-God will guide me through this

And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
- He is always there

I'm in better hands now

It's like the world is silent though I know it isn't true
-Faith can change lives

It's like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room
-So true! I can feel it!

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
-And there never will be

I’m in better hands now
-You have a plan for ME!

You can't be saved if you're not reaching out for help
-God didn’t save our family until we were on our knees reaching out for help. We asked, and now we are SAVED!!!!

I am so in Awe of God’s amazing timing and I can’t wait to blog about my new experiences as a Labor and Delivery Nursing Assistant!!!!!!

Colorado

2010-07-02T00:57:00.001-05:00

I had no cell service in the mountains of Colorado, so I had to write my blogs each night and wait to post them once I got home. I'm home...and here are the incredible experiences of the past 5 days:

The Trek
I had no idea how long a bus ride to Colorado with 50 kids would seem! I can honestly say the trip was exactly what I needed right now though. I sat next to a sweet, sweet leader that I just met a few months ago. We were able to talk about life…real life…and all that God is challenging us with! I so needed that.

We stopped in cities I’ve never even heard of at times I’m not usually awake. I remember a rest-stop around 4am. I got off the bus and could barely breathe from the stench of poo. I’m pretty sure I coughed! I found my way to the building and there to greet me was a giant statue of an alien…or something.

Sleeping in the bus chair was torture, I don’t ever want to experience that again. Unfortunately I have to break that rule in 6 short days when we make the trek back home! But next time I will know better than to sit amongst the high school boys...I can’t even explain with words the strange noises they made and the incredible volume their voices reached…for 18 hours straight!!! But it’s nice to be humbled again, and reminded that I will be put in challenging and frustrating situations so that I MAY GROW!!!

The Beginning
It’s the 2nd night at Silver Creek and I feel like God’s work has finally begun!!! I have waited for this moment for so long and am so glad to finally see why I’m here and not at home with my kids. The group of girls I am with have amazed me with their willingness to be real and open to what God wants to show them this week. They are respectful, kind, honest, beautiful girls and I am so happy to share this experience with them!!

The first night at cabin time we talked about self image and how God sees them. I had them go around the circle and say something beautiful about the person to their left. I was so proud of what they came up with! Then I had them go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. I asked them to repeat the following phrases after me, “I am beautiful, God thinks I’m beautiful, I am God’s beloved.” It was so neat to hear their voices together, I won’t forget it for a long time!

Tonight at cabin time we talked about things that are holding us back from God and preventing us from fully believing that God loves us. We talked about things like wanting to be popular, needing to be loved by a boy, being labeled and feeling stuck in a box…oh I don’t miss high school. I asked the girls to write down the walls they had up on a piece of paper and for the first time all week, there was complete silence for 5 minutes. I wanted them to know how proud I was of them for going deep and being so real and I played a song for them that means a lot to me. Joel Hansen from Westwood wrote this song about a counselor who went to save a girl drowning in the water, “She took her hand, and never let go”…both girls died that day. I wanted them to know how loved they are by God and by ME! Can’t wait to see what’s to come for these amazing girls…

Amazing Grace
The past few days have absolutely drained me…physically and emotionally. Yesterday, all of my girls faced their fears when they went through the high ropes course. I watched in amazement as they went up in the trees one by one and encouraged each other through the difficult course. I was so proud of them as they zip-lined back to the ground, and the looks on their faces after they were safely back on solid ground were priceless!!

Later that day we went exploring and the crazy girls actually jumped into the freezing cold river which is made up of snow run-off. I stood on shore and took pictures…nice and warm!!! The rest of the day was full of leader meetings, swimming in the hot springs, friendship bracelet making, praying, and singing.

Facing Fears
Today was…I guess I don’t even know what word to use here. I woke up with a knot in my stomach knowing that today I would have to face a very real fear of mine. White. Water. Rafting. Just typing those words make my heart race and stomach turn. There was NO part of me that wanted to experience white water rafting in my life, but when I asked the youth pastor if I had to go, he reminded me that God asks us to face our fears, not run from them. Not the answer I was hoping for, but he was so right. So today I made myself put one foot in front of the other and get on the bus headed for Noah’s Ark, the Christian based rafting company we would be using for our trip. The closer we got, the harder it was to breathe and when I got off the bus and saw the river, I lost it. This probably sounds absolutely pathetic, but I am not a risk-taker. I would never choose to do an extreme sport like sky-diving, bungee jumping, or white water rafting. Apparently my fear was not hidden well because several other leaders on the trip saw me in the parking lot and came over to pray over me. I was so grateful for their prayers and felt better as I walked with all of the kids over to our guide. Then the guide started talking about all of the “what ifs” and I lost it again. I felt like such an idiot as I silently sobbed, surrounded by 150 brave high schoolers who couldn’t wait to get in their rafts. I don’t think I stopped crying or shaking until we were a few miles down the course. Seriously…so embarrassing!
I will never forget the joke of our boat- We were only one mile into the 6 hour ride and going over what I would call “white caps/very large waves” when I asked our guide if these would be considered a Class 2 rapid. (He told us we would be experiencing Class1-Class 4 rapids throughout the course and I wanted to know if these were on the higher end…cause they felt that way!) He turned to me with a confused expression on his face and said “No.” I thought, Oh good, this is probably a Class 3 rapid so they won’t get much worse than this. And he responded, “No, this…is just water!” I almost jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I still wish I had. The next 6 hours were extremely difficult for me, I will be totally honest. I hated how I felt, but I couldn’t convince myself that this was fun. I remember getting out around the half-way point and standing on a rock. I think I took my first deep breath of the day. My abs hurt from being so tense, and I was emotionally drained. Our guide had told us that the worst rapid was coming up…the one with the sink hole. He said that out of the 12 trips he took per week, at least 2 he would flip during this rapid. As we were eating lunch, I just prayed to God that he would take my focus off my fear so that I could do my job paddling and get us safely through the rapid. As I stood up to get back in the boat, I accidently put my hand on a cactus. That prayer was answered!! My focus was now on the ridiculously painful burning in my hand after my girls pulled out all of the cactus needles.

Before the big rapid, our guides got out to pray. They watched as other groups(non-Christian organizations) went through the rapid and when they got back told us that the boat directly in front of us dumped 3 people as they went through it. That was information I did NOT need to know! Before I new it, it was our turn, and all I can remember is the guide screaming at me “Paddle now, this is not the time to freeze up on us.” We made it safely through, as did the rest of our group. We pulled off to the side to watch the others behind us go through it just in case anyone fell out and needed us to rescue them. After our whole group made it through safely, he said we would wait just a little while longer and watch as the next group went though…again from a non-Christian organization. We watched as they went down the first plunge, and when the boat came up for the second part, you could see that the back of the boat was now empty. I could barely breathe as I saw a few boats pull off of shore to go rescue the people that had fallen out…one of them a 6 or 7 year old boy. I cried again. I don’t think this is anything I would ever consider fun! I was in awe however that we were the only group that prayed before the rapid and we were the only group to make it though safely. God Answers Prayer!!! The rest of the course seemed to last forever and all I wanted was to be back on solid ground. I can honestly say that I don’t ever care to experience that again. Did I face my fear…yep. Did I conquer it…don’t think so.

Both Feet In
Every day, Brian gives 2 messages. The message in the morning is short, and then the kids are asked to go find spot alone somewhere at camp and do their “Reflections”. The message at night is a lot deeper and afterwards we go back to our cabins and have “Cabin Time”. I had been praying all week that my girls would go deeper and really be honest during our time together.
I wasn’t prepared for what would come out during our conversation tonight. Something finally made them open up, and I realized they were all in such different places in their relationships with God. Some questioned everything we had talked about, some doubted that God could really loved them, and some just sat silently. They said things that hurt me to the core, and it dawned on me that I was once in the same place as them. It’s easy to say now that I am certain there is a God and that Jesus died for our sins. But I remember when I first believed that doubt was always popping up. These girls are exactly where I was when I became a believer, it was the summer before 11th grade.
After a deep breath and a quick prayer, I told them this was a safe place to ask their questions. I could see that many of these girls had faith that was only “one foot in the water”, meaning that they were keeping one foot on shore just in case. I decided to be bold and told them that they needed to have “both feet in” if they wanted to experience all that God had planned for them. That meant turning from their sins and what they struggled with and believing that the Bible and EVERYTHING in it is the word of God. I told them that God asks us to do things that aren’t always easy or what we want to do, and that sometimes when something feels uncomfortable or hard, that’s right where God wants us to be. I could see some of them trying to fit God into a tiny comfortable box, but that’s not how He works! I hope that tonight plants a seed in them, if only a tiny mustard seed.

And the Kingdom of God grows…
Tonight during Brian’s message, he shared with the students about God’s love for each of them and His call to hand over the “steering wheel” of their lives. We had communion and listened to beautiful song about God’s forgiveness. Then he asked all of the students to find somewhere around camp to go and sit and just be with God. As they students were praying, the leaders prayed over the students. I was amazed by how God would place an image of one of my girls in my mind and a specific prayer for them. This had never happened before and it was so powerful. As I walked to our cabin to meet with the girls for our cabin time, I felt as though I was being prepared for something. Small understatement!

We started going through the questions Brian had sent with all of the leaders and I was amazed by how open and real the girls were all finally being. Many of them shared that they felt the presence of God for the first time that night, and through tears they talked about their brokenness. I could feel that God was all over that circle and offered to them the opportunity to pray the prayer of salvation with me. I didn’t want anyone to feel pressured or guilted into such an important decision, so I said that I would be out praying in one of the gazebo’s and if they felt led to commit their lives to God, or to recommit their lives to God, that they could join me and I would help them through that prayer.

I sat there in prayer for a while, wondering how long to wait. When I heard someone coming up the path, I looked up to see who it was. I will NEVER forget the image of ALL 8 of my girls walking up that path!!! Together, in the gazebo under the stars on the mountainside in Colorado, we prayed the prayer of salvation.

Three of them, for the first time.

It truly was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. We all put our arms around each other and sang “Amazing Grace”…I so wish I could have heard what the people in the cabins around us were thinking! It was terrible! But I will never be able to hear that song again without thinking of the 8 amazing girls I spent this week with, and their powerful prayer to God.

I am so thankful to be a part of this ministry, and I go home a changed believer. God is so Awesome.

Dazed and confused

2010-06-26T09:39:00.001-05:00

So i found out that sleeping in a bus seat amongst 50+ high schoolers and a bus driver that apparently likes HEAT is virtually impossible. Bummer. Just stopped at a local (somewhere in CO) Burger King for breakfast. I fell nice and greasy for the 6 hour drive we have left...lovely!

Rise and Shine and give God the GLORY GLORY!!!!

The Great Colorado Adventure

2010-06-25T22:04:00.001-05:00

So i'm sitting on a bus with about 50 high school students from our church headed for the beautiful state of Colorado. I think the last time I was in CO was in 2001 for college. I attended Colorado State and Kenny went to the U of Northern Colorado. Kenny wanted to go back to MN and apparently I loved him enough to follow him. (Looks like it worked out in the end though!!)

So anyways...we're on the bus. Someone just put in the movie Oceans 11, the leader sitting next to me is listening to her ipod really loud, the 10 guys closest to me are arguing about something definitely not important, and I am going to attempt to sleep for a while in my 2 square feet of space!! I love this!! Hoping to get a few hours of sleep and thinking about my kiddos back home...

My bags are packed...

2010-06-25T21:55:00.001-05:00

and I'm ready to go!

Newborn Photo Shoot!

2010-06-11T01:34:00.000-05:00

Today I got to visit with my friend Allison and her new baby girl she delivered earlier this morning!! Here are some of my favorite shots of Magdalyn...

Backlog Post 1

2010-06-02T15:29:00.000-05:00

I figured I would start with the biggest change in our life these past few months...our sweet baby boy! Graham is almost 4 months old already and has taken us on many new baby adventures. We discovered (with the help of a very special nurse!) that Graham's body can't handle dairy and that's why he had colic so bad. We switched his formula to Soy and I have stopped eating dairy, absolute torture!!! But totally worth it, cause we have an amazingly happy baby back!

Hi Blog...remember me?!

2010-06-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

So I have this annoying habit some people like to call procrastination. I think that's just a pretty word for LAZY! I would like to blame my 2 month blogging hiatus on my newborn (and therefore LACK OF SLEEP), but that would be a lie. I think I actually have some kind of "completion anxiety". If I can't fully complete something I'm working on, I somehow decide it's not worth doing at all. Prime example...I hand wrote over 250 thank you notes after our wedding (why do only the wives have to do that by the way???) the week we got back from our honeymoon (that's a whole-nother blog post!!!). I had about 50 left...which of course I never got to...so I decided it would be best just not to send ANY. That's right, completely pathetic. I have no excuses. I never sent our wedding thank you's. So, for anyone out there reading our blog that also went to our wedding and perhaps gave us a wedding present, THANK YOU from the bottom of my "completion anxiety" heart. So that's what I think has happened here again, I had another "completion anxiety" episode after I didn't blog for a week and decided it would be best just not to blog until I could sit down and blog every event of our crazy busy life that had happened. Well that was dumb! Of course, being a mom to 3 very small children (one is a newborn...remember, no sleep!) and deciding it would be a good idea to fill our calendar with at least 5 events each day, that great blogging day never came! Who woulda guessed??

So here I am, 2 months later. And I have SOOOO much to blog about!! My plan is to take this backlog one day at a time and blog about a few fun events we've had over the next few days. (Who am I kidding, this will probably take me longer than a few days)

By the way, blogging is WAY harder than it looks! But totally worth it :)

He Is Risen!

2010-04-04T21:12:00.000-05:00

When you think of Easter, you probably think of the Easter Bunny, colored eggs and lots of candy... but to Christians around the world it is much, much more. Easter is the most important Christian holiday of the year.

Easter Day is the day Christians remember Jesus rising from the dead. After his brutal crucifixion, a large stone was rolled over his tomb. But shortly after his death when followers went back to honor Jesus, the stone had mysteriously been moved and only the cloth that wrapped Jesus' body was laying there. As the story goes, Jesus' body was no longer in the tomb and he had in fact risen from his death in order to save us all. An angel nearby this tomb told his followers of the miracle that had taken place.

The resurrection, as described in the Bible, means that at the very moment Jesus rose from the dead, was the very moment we would be given everlasting life. Christians would now receive new life after death. The Easter holiday celebrates this belief. Easter is therefore the last day celebrated during a 40 day Easter season.

The season begins with Lent, a 40-day period before Easter Sunday. During Lent, Christians prepare for Easter. Lent is considered a time for penance, a time to show sorrow for sins and to seek forgiveness.

One way many Christians show their sorrow is by fasting, which limits the kinds and amounts of food that are eaten. Christians may also give something up during this 40 week period as patronage to the suffering of Jesus. While not all Christians fast during Lent, those that do pattern their behavior after Jesus who prayed and fasted in the wilderness before his death on the cross.

Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and most churches hold specials services in the evening. At many of those services ashes are placed on the foreheads of worshipers to remind them to have a humble spirit. Lent continues until Holy Week, which is the final week of Lent and recalls the events leading up to Jesus' sacrifce and ultimate death, a death he freely accepted.

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday, which celebrates the story of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, where people spread palm branches and clothing before him. Good Friday is the day Jesus died on the cross and many believe it happened between the hours of 12 noon and 3pm. Many churches hold services during this time to reflect on the last three hours of darkness while Jesus suffered on the cross.

On Easter Sunday Jesus' resurrection is celebrated. Outdoor Easter services sometimes take place at sunrise to celebrate Jesus' resurrection. Just as Jesus rose from the dead, Christians believe they too will rise from the dead and ascend into Heaven. It's important to note that Easter is not a time to dwell on death and sorrow, but rather the fact that Jesus did rise just as prophesized in the Holy Bible. This miracle of renewed life has given Christians hope, faith and love since they know Jesus died willingly in order to save the human race.

Easter is also closely associated with the season of Spring. The new plant life that appears in spring symbolizes the new life Christians gain because of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection.

-Taken from a Christian website

THANK YOU JESUS FOR THIS AMAZING DAY! I HOPE OUR FAMILY BRINGS YOU GLORY AND HONOR. WE WILL WORSHIP YOU FOR THE REST OF OUR DAYS :) AMEN

Tori was sick with the flu so she got to sit with us during the church service. She loved the singing!

Our 14th Easter Egg Hunt of the day! We have a new favorite activity...

Spring "Christmas" Letter

2010-04-01T01:26:00.000-05:00

I've decided this blog is in need of a family "Christmas" letter because of all the changes we have gone through in the past few months. Honest and real, here goes...

Kenny-

The biggest change in our life happened when Kenny got the news that he was being laid off. Kenny had worked for Shaw since the week before Mackenzi was born, over 4 years ago. Kenny is excited about working for another company and experiencing a new product in sales, but it is scary to think about how long that might take to find. We have an amazing God, and know that he is taking care of us. We can't wait to see what plans He has for us now!! For now, Kenny gets to stay home with us and we have loved every minute of it! I'm a little worried about readjusting once he does go back to work!

If anyone has a sales rep lead, please let us know!!!

Brit-
I am LOVING being a stay-home mom! Now that the dance season is over, I have been able to focus all my time and energy on my kids. I have seen a change in both of the girls now that life has slowed down a little bit and I can give them my undivided attention again. We don't stay home very much, we usually have a few activities every day. I'm involved in MOPS at our church, both the girls have preschool, and Kenzi takes dance at The Summit Dance Shoppe. We've been going to Lifetime, the Zoo, parks, the mall, and lots of playdates. I wouldn't trade this for anything! I also get to lead a small group in our church's senior high ministry. The girls in my group are absolutely amazing and I always look forward to Wednesday nights with them. I get to go on the summer trip to Colorado with them this summer too, I can't wait!! God is everywhere in my life right now, which is the way it should be. Lovin' It!

Mackenzi-
Mack is just blowing us away lately with the things that she says! I don't know where she gets some of her lines, but they crack us up. She may not be a tough kid, but she seems very intelligent. Not in a school way... she doesn't know all of her letters, but in a people way...she can carry on a very adult conversation. She is our little entertainer and enjoys putting on dance shows and pretend conversations. Her favorite activity is playing waitress! We can't wait to ger her in an acting/theatre program once she's old enough. Kenzi has also been an amazing big sister. She is so protective of Graham and is always by his side the second he starts crying with his nuk and blanket. She's a very unique little girl, and we love spending time with her, even when she's in her "other" world!

Tori-
Oh Tori...where do I start?! Let's just say that one of her favorite activities is licking things!! She prefers the bottom of her shoes, but the slide at Burger King works as well. Ha! She wants to do everything her big sis is doing and we've been very impressed with her ability to keep up. Her words multiply every single day and we love seeing her figure something new out. She is a daddy's girl right now and cries anytime he leaves. She calles him Mommy, which I think is hysterical, but Kenny does not! Not sure what the deal is with that, but we never really are when it comes to Tori. She is gonna be somethin special when she grows up, that's for sure!

Graham-
Our sweet lil guy has kept us on our toes these past few weeks! He was a perfect angel his first 3 weeks of life, sleeping through the night and only crying when he needed to be fed. But something changed when he turned 3 weeks old, and life was tough for the first time since Graham had arrived. Poor Graham wasn't pooping, wanted to eat every other hour, wouldn't sleep more that 45 minutes at a time and was waking up 4-6 times throughout the night. When he was awake, he was almost always crying. I changed my diet and was careful about what I ate, but that didn't seem to make much of a difference. At first, the doc labeled it severe reflux and put him on a strong does of Zantac. After a few days, his previous symptoms returned. Then we tried a constipation med, which also seemed to help for a few days, but the symptoms returned yet again. So today we took him in for his 2 month appt, and we were hoping for another solution! I was surprised by what we discovered. Graham weighed in at only 10lbs 14oz, putting him in the 25%. His height was also in the 25%. Because he used to be in the 75%, the doc was concerned. She thinks the reason Graham is such a "colicky" baby is because he's hungry. She said that some babies, often boys, need more milk than their mommies can produce. She told us that we need to start giving him a bottle after I nurse him. We are going to try it for a few weeks and see if it helps, at this point, we are desperate and will try anything!!

So that's it, our family in a nut shell. Constantly changing but always believing! Looking forward to what's to come for us...a move, a new job, a new family member? Whatever it is, you'll hear about it on our blog!

Not Me Monday

2010-03-29T21:54:00.000-05:00

I most definitely did not leave a poopy diaper laying on the changing table in pure laziness and catch my dog eating it an hour later. And I would never watch my dog eat the poopy diaper while smiling instead of taking it away just for my personal enjoyment!

Randomness

2010-03-25T00:19:00.000-05:00

We are living in randomness right now. Not quite sure where to go with our new curveball, we are taking each day one at a time! Yesterday, we made the trek out to the MN zoo with my mom. We were able to watch the trainers working with the dolphins and even took the monorail around the park. It was so nice to be together as a family, a friendly reminder from God about what truly matters!!

Learning all about the Zoo!

Touching the stingrays

Giving back to the zoo...their favorite part of the day!

Graham has had another rough week. He's been on a pretty strong dose of Zantac for a week now, but things seem to be going downhill again. The poor guy cries all day long and all he wants to do is nurse. I think we will give it a couple more days before going in to see his pediatrician again. For now, we call him our little colic baby...

The love and support from friends over these past few days has been amazing!! You find out who your true friends are when you go through tough seasons. I pray that my kids find friends as wonderful as the ones I have found. And I pray that I can learn to be as wonderful to my friends as they have been to me.

One of Kenzi's favorite friends at the CCC today!!
Tori was off in the corner licking something...

When I say I am a Christian...

2010-03-23T22:33:00.001-05:00

When I say I am a Christian I am not shouting that I am clean living.
I'm whispering I was lost but now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say I am a Christian I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say I am a Christian I'm not saying I am strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say I am a Christian I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and I need God to clean my mess.

When I say I am a Christian I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I am worth it.

When I say I am a Christian I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

When I say I am a Christian I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's grace somehow!

Life Changing Day

2010-03-22T22:12:00.000-05:00

I can only describe today as life changing. We aren't sharing more than that at this moment, but once we have a handle on life again we will be sure to explain! That's the point of a blog right? To be honest and open about the things we are going through from day to day...I am more honest on my blog than I feel I can be with some people. It's just easier in some ways. You don't feel judged, I'm sure it still happens, but you don't feel it. And feeling judged just stinks!

I was comforted tonight be a good friend that reminded me we were baptised 12 years ago today!! I was a Junior in HS attending MCC (Minnetonka Community Church). I had just accepted God into my heart and was begining my walk as a Christian. It was a beautiful day. And that's how I know that 12 years later, God is STILL in control, and this can be a beautiful day too.

Thank you God, for always giving us the strength we need exactly when we need it! I hope we glorify your name as you shut one door and open another...

So Big!!!

2010-03-21T23:56:00.000-05:00

The past few days have been so exciting with "Baby Gam". He weighed in at 10lbs 1oz at his checkup this week and his doctor said he was very strong for a 6 week old baby. He is constantly wanting to stand up, holds his head up very well, and has even rolled over.

We switched him to the size one diapers and have started to put away some of the NB (newborn) sized clothes. I love seeing him grow each day, it is so exciting to be his mom. He even smiled on command the other day! Looking forward to a week of even more firsts...

Magic Kingdom Pictures

2010-03-20T00:37:00.000-05:00

We skipped the hotel breakfast so we could be at the park when it opened so we were
stuck eating pretzels and turkey legs at 9am!

Graham's 1st Disney Ride!!!

While everyone else went on Space Mountain, I stayed back with the 3 kids. Mackenzi was dancing with a little girl, Graham was nursing, and Tori was...playing with a hose! Lovely!

Graham's first girlfriend!

Mackenzi's current favorite princess!!

I wonder if they're related??

FLORIDA!

2010-03-19T23:02:00.038-05:00

We had such a fun trip to Florida. We still can't believe we were able to surprise my parents! We had to keep a lot of secrets and it was such a relief once they finally knew. We had a condo right down the beach from them so we were able to see them a couple times during the rest of their stay. We went for walks on the beach, looked for shells in the dark, had a delicious dinner at their place, and even learned a new sport...Pickleball!
My parents seemed to enjoy having us around, maybe someday they will tell us what they really thought when they saw ALL of our kids come running down the hallway the night we showed up! My mom actually skipped her flight home and decided to stay with us as we went on to Disney World for a few days!

Our Disney World portion of the trip started off on a rough note though...when we booked our 2 room suite online some of the reviews mentioned a terrible smell and bugs. We figured they were being dramatic and went with the Enclave Hotel anyways. Jokes on us though, as we checked into our room we found we had a roomate waiting for us...a half-dead cockroach :) The smell was also quite awful. So we aired out the room and sent our new cockroach friend to a new place and put all of our luggage up on tables! Fortunately, we weren't going to be in our room much so we decided it was not a big deal. That night we stopped by to visit a good friend of mine and her family who also happened to be vacationing in Disney! Afterwards we checked out Downtown Disney...along with the rest of Florida!

The next morning we woke up early for our day at Magic Kingdom. We got to the park right as it opened at 9am and stayed until Midnight!! It was a fun-filled day for all of us, I am so glad we got to go. The girls loved going on almost every ride at the park, the guys enjoyed the adult rides, and my mom and I enjoyed shopping! There were a few rides not running for a couple of hours around lunchtime so Kenny went to speak with a manager to see if there was anything they could do for us. Well, it was worth it! We got a special pass that allowed us to skip any line and get on the ride through a special door. It was amazing! Some of the lines were an hour long, so with 3 kids it was so wonderful to bypass all the waiting and just get on the ride. I did have a little guilt though! After our long day at Disney we went back to our "questionable" hotel and crashed.

Our flight home the next day went very well because all of the kids were so tired! I wish I could say the same about my experience going through security by myself (Kenny had to go return the rental car) with all of our kids, the double stroller, 3 backpacks, 3 blankets, 2 stuffed animals, a diaper bag, a camera, gifts, and 2 car seats!

It was a trip we will never forget, our first big adventure as a family of 5! And we are so relieved to say that we finally brought Graham to Disney World, we were feeling like terrible parents :) These are some of our favorite pics from the trip~

It's just Reflux!!!

2010-03-18T22:12:00.000-05:00

Mr. Graham was our perfect baby the first few weeks of his life. Then something changed!! I assumed it was related to the Thrush medicine we were both on, but when the symptoms continued even after we were finished with our meds,I started to get worried. We feared it was colic so we called his pediatrician when we got home from Florida. She said that was most likely the case but to come in and have him cheked out to see if there was something else going on. We went in the next day and got wonderful news...it's just Reflux!! We had ruled Reflux out because Mackenzi had that as a newborn and was constantly puking. We had to change her outfit after every feeding and no one ever wanted to burp her! When the milk came back up, it sometimes went as far as the other side of the room. It was crazy, but her reflux formula and strong meds helped. Graham almost never spits up so we never thought it was reflux. When I told our pediatrician this, she said that reflux is actually worse for babies like Graham because they can't get it out. Poor Graham has been screaming for the past few weeks because of the pain from the acid reflux. She also said that's why he eats so frequently (almost every hour) because it feels good while he is eating. We put him on his Reflux med last night and he is already a differnt baby!! We have our sweet baby back :) I will post the symptoms he had below in case you are wondering about your own child...

Changes started when he was around 3 ½ weeks old:

· No longer sleeping through the night, wakes up every 2 hours very fussy
· Only comfortable in the sling
· Won’t lay down, even when propped up
· Used to poop every feeding, now only every 4 days
· Arches his back constantly

· Extremely gassy

Cries so hard he gags

2010-03-11T10:51:00.001-06:00

The wi-fi on the island stinks, I feel so lost without computer access!! Havin a blast on Sanibel, we will post stories and pics once we get to Disney!!

SURPRISE...We pulled it off!!!

2010-03-08T23:11:00.003-06:00

We are finally able to let you in on our little surprise...we are in Sanibel, FL!!! My parents come here every year and we decided that this year we could come down at the same time and surprise them. So this morning at 3:30am, we all got up to get ready for our first flight. 2 flights, a long wait at the car rental place, and a 5 hour drive later we were finally in Sanibel. We had the kids knock on their condo door with a note saying "Mom and dad dropped us off. They will be back Friday" and we hid behind the wall. My dad opened the door and had the best face ever those first few seconds. He told us later that he was so confused because he thought it was kids selling something door-to-door and he didn't realize it was his own grandkids!! My parents were in shock for quite a while, so after playing for a few minutes we left them to figure it out. So fun!! Check out the video!

Surprise Day!!!

2010-03-08T08:16:00.000-06:00

Kenny and I have been looking forward to today for so long!!! I can't wait to share with all of you what we've been up to. The big surprise will hopefully happen today...you'll have to check back later for an update :)

Minnetonka Dance Team Banquet

2010-03-07T21:13:00.001-06:00

Today was an end to a huge part of my life. We had our Mtka Dance Team banquet tonight. I was so excited to see all of my sweet girls again tonight, I have missed them so much! Everyone had such nice speeches and it was a night I will remember forever. I loved being a Skipperette!!!

Friends

2010-03-01T22:22:00.000-06:00

I love friends! Can you imagine a world with no friendships? Kenzi has been having her friends over for playdates and I just love watching them play together. Poor Tori just follows them around, bugging them as much as she possibly can! I love when I hear the 2 big girls run into a room, the light footsteps of Tori close behind, the slamming of a door, and then Tori in tears. It's hard being the little sister!

Kenzi and Aubree ridin horses

Tori tryin to be like the big girls...only naked, of course!

Tori loves to crawl into Graham's Pak N Play and lay down next to him! Looks like they will be good buddies.

One of my close friends has been dealing with some tough news these past few weeks. Her father received a devastating diagnosis that has been hard on everyone who loves him. I hate not knowing what to do for her or say that will make things better, I just lift their family up in my prayers and try to be a positive spirit in her life right now. If you'd like to read more about her amazing dad and his journey, check out his caring bridge site~ http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paulsparkyperlberg

David Kaul...you will be missed

2010-02-26T22:09:00.001-06:00

We said goodbye to a very special man today.

Kenny's uncle David passed away shortly after 2pm.

He was admitted to the hospital earlier this week after having a heart attack.

David was a kind, funny, lighthearted guy that always had a smile for you.

Whenever you asked him how he was doing, his response would be “Oh, pretty good”.

It's a very sad day, but knowing he is now in Heaven with Grandma is a wonderful feeling!

We miss you both!!

Simply Connected!

2010-02-25T21:03:00.000-06:00

We had our first night of Simply Connected tonight. It's a group with 3 other couples from church that also have kids and want to "connect" to others from Westwood. We met at our house last night for spaghetti and had a blast! The guys talked sports and the girls talked deliveries...haha. The kids (7 rugrats under 4) just made a lot of noise. Can't wait for next month!!

Moments with Graham

2010-02-24T00:29:00.001-06:00

We are just lovin every moment we have with our new little guy! Yes, he is still sleepin through the night and eatin like a champ!! He weighed 8 pounds exactly at his 2 week appointment, just one ounce short of his birth weight. The nurse was a little concerned that he hadn't gained enough weight and asked me how often he ate during the night. I told her he eats at 11pm and then not again until he wakes up around 8am. She told me to start waking him up to eat...ha! I don't think so!! We were both diagnosed with Thrush...don't look it up, it's gross. Hopefully our meds can clear it up quickly. Other than that, we have a perfectly healthy and amazing little boy. And we can't take our eyes off him :)

Zoo Day with Daddy

2010-02-20T00:42:00.001-06:00

I lead a small group in our High School Ministry at church and we had training all day today. I was amazed to find out that Kenny took the girls to the Zoo while I was gone! What an amazing daddy, those girls are so loved by him!!

Toria's New Do!

2010-02-19T23:58:00.001-06:00

Tori's hair has been lookin a little...crazy boy hockey-ish. So Kenny gave her a haircut! Then he dressed her up in boy clothes and spiked her new do! Now I have one daughter and 2 sons...

Bath Time

2010-02-19T16:10:00.008-06:00

Graham got his first official bath at home today! (No, it's not the first time we've cleaned him since he was born...we are just shower people and those pictures wouldn't really be appropriate!) If you read the post about our photo shoot at Clix, you already know that Graham HATES to be naked! That hasn't changed...

Bath Time

2010-02-18T23:46:00.001-06:00

Mackenzi's helping by brushing his hair...with her toothbrush!

Someone get me a towel...NOW

All clean, time for bed!

Life with 3 kids!

2010-02-18T16:29:00.000-06:00

I absolutely LOVE this!! Can you relate??

ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live.

ONE YEAR!!!!

2010-02-17T15:16:00.001-06:00

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mackenzinash

What a beautiful day! It's been exactly one year since Mackenzi's surgery and she is doing amazingly well!! We met with her surgeon and team of docs a few weeks ago after doing some tests at Children's and we finally received all good news. Her vertebrae have almost fully regrown and are now doing their job of protecting her spine again. Her scoliosis has not gotten worse since surgery, and the abnormal mass they saw on the scans a while back was indeed spinal fluid and NOT another tumor!

It's just amazing to think about all of the things that have gone right for her since discovering this crazy tumor. We are so proud of our little girl for being so brave through all of this. And we are SO thankful for the amazing team of doctors that gave Kenzi back her BACK! They did an amazing job and have been there for us in every way over this past year.

Kenzi will continue to be monitored for her scoliosis and SFL (spinal fluid leak), as well as yearly CT's and MRI's to watch for possible future tumors. We know she is in the best hands, and are finally ready to put this craziness behind us!
Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet.
James 5:13

Lovin it

2010-02-16T18:04:00.001-06:00

There were a few times during the pregnancy that Kenny and I would look at each other and say "I can't believe we're gonna have 3 kids, we're nuts!" Friends, family, and sometimes even strangers warned us in nice (and not so nice) ways that having 3 was going to be overwhelming. Well guess what, I'M LOVING IT!!! Being a mom of three sweet kids has been overwhelmingly AMAZING. I love getting up in the morning with my sweet guy wrapped in my arms (yes, he still sleeps through the night so that obviously helps!), I love watching the girls stare at him when he's sleeping and ask questions, I love watching Kenny talk to his son like he's already 10 years old, I love the constant multi-tasking that is required to survive the day, and I love how fulfilled I am when I crawl in bed at night. This transition has been one of the easiest I have had in my life, he just fits right into our family! I'm sure things will change once Graham gets a little older, but for now I am just lovin being a mom to 3 little ones. Today I was brave enough to attempt Target and swimming at Lifetime...and I did it!! I could totally adopt triplets :) Haha

Photo Shoot

2010-02-14T12:26:00.000-06:00

My little brother is studying to be a professional photographer, how lucky are we?! He currently works at Clix in Maple Grove and has already taken lots of amazing photos of the girls. We attempted to bring the WHOLE family in yesterday for our first shoot with Graham. Tori refused to smile whenever the camera was pointed at her, Graham did NOT want to be naked and only wanted to be held, Kenzi broke the princess tiara prop after tripping over the backdrop, Tori ate a princess wand made of foam, and Graham peed all over the boppy prop. Ha! Good thing we knew the photographer!!

So here are our first family pics, Graham's first attempt at newborn pics, and Kenzi's 4 year pics!

Due Date!

2010-02-10T21:07:00.001-06:00

Today was our due date. 2-10-2010. We have been looking forward to this day for so long! We lost another baby a few months before finding out about Graham, and it changed us forever. We had decided that we would wait to try again until Baby Tyler's due date had passed, but God had another plan! He surprised us with another pregnancy (does it qualify as a surprise if it happened because we were relying on a phone app for our bc??) just a few months after we lost Tyler. I took the pregnancy test while Kenny was at work and knew that I wanted to tell Kenny in a very special way. Have you seen the video?!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a43NHNMDLBg

Our OB allowed us to have an early ultrasound because we had recently had a miscarriage. He was worried about something he saw during the ultrasound and asked us to come back a week later for another one. Apparently there was some kind of bleed and it was connecting itself to the baby. We left that appointment in a daze...God wouldn't put us through the pain of losing a baby again, would He? We turned to prayer and waited. At our next appointment, we learned that the blood mass around the baby had grown larger and was now bigger than the baby itself. Our OB warned us that this usually meant the pregnancy would end in miscarriage because the blood mass would eventually surround the entire sac and prevent it from growing. The only chance this baby had was to be stronger than the mass and outgrow it. He sent us home with a picture and said to come back again in another week. Kenny and I looked at that picture every single day, praying the baby was fighting and would make it.

And here we are, at the due date, and we are holding our precious baby in our arms!!! He is truly our miracle baby and I can't wait to see what God has planned for this special boy.

He's a sleeper!

2010-02-10T13:09:00.000-06:00

I didn't want to say it out loud in case it was just a fluke, but it's now officially been a week...HE'S A SLEEPER!!!!! We feed Graham between 11 and midnight before we go to bed and he doesn't wake up again until 5-6am. This morning it was 6:45!!! God Bless You Child :)

All the way to Haiti...

2010-02-09T22:49:00.000-06:00

Graham had a very big day today! We started it off with Tori's ECFE class then met the Kaz girls for lunch at the mall. And then the big moment...Graham's first trip to my home away from home...TARGET!!! He loved it and told me I could take him back anytime, good boy :)

Kenzi and Tori enjoyed playing with their lil brother and kept fighting over who got to hold him. SO loved!

After another short nap (for him not me), Graham and I met up with Mops friends to make the trek out to Kids Against Hunger. http://www.kidsagainsthunger.org/ We made meals for over 3000 kids in Haiti!!

Snow Day

2010-02-08T23:12:00.000-06:00

Five minutes after we woke up Kenzi for preschool we got the call that school was closed. SNOW DAY!!!The five of us spent the day in our pj's and it was absolutely wonderful!! We ate oreos for breakfast, watched movies, played in the snow, and took lots of pictures with baby Graham. I could get used to days like these...

Another day

2010-02-07T21:55:00.000-06:00

Another day of visitors, feedings, diaper changes, and firsts! It is so amazing how easily Graham fits into our family. He is such a sweet boy and takes whatever we throw at him like a champ. We've loved watching the girls interact with him and fight over who gets to put his nuk back in when it falls out. I'm hoping this isn't a quick phase and that they fight over helping him until he's 18!

We took Graham to church today and he got to meet more of our amazing friends. We found out that my girlfriends from Mops are delivering meals to our house for the next 3 weeks. Wow! There is nothing in the world like your church family! I LOVE YOU MOPS GIRLS!!!!

ROAD TRIP~

2010-02-06T20:59:00.001-06:00

We are headed to New Ulm today for my niece's hockey tournament! I went crazy just sitting in the hospital and am in need of some adventure. Hope he likes his car seat!!

Goin Home!

2010-02-05T13:40:00.002-06:00

It's been amazing just spending the day with our new lil guy! I had no idea how much I would love having a son. He has been so snuggly and sweet, I think I was expecting him to come out a tough guy!

He has officially passed all of his tests with flying colors and we are both being discharged today!! I can't wait to finally take him home and be a family. I am so blessed...

DAY 2~

2010-02-04T15:36:00.000-06:00

Having a quiet day getting to know Graham, I just LOVE him :)

For Christmas, Kenny got me a Go Home Gorgeous package!!! At 8:30 tonight, my hospital room will be transformed into a relaxing spa retreat for my post-partum massage. Counting down the seconds...

http://www.gohomegorgeous.com/

1st Surgery

2010-02-04T08:28:00.000-06:00

It's going to be another day of "FIRSTS"! Graham is having his circumcision done right now :( Kenny requested to go along, so I am left alone in our room just thinkin about him. I'm going to try and enjoy my cafeteria pancakes and not listen for the scream of a baby boy. Here's hopin the day only gets better for our sweet guy!

By the way...hospital beds SUCK. Will somebody bring me a temperpedic?

Party Animal

2010-02-04T03:31:00.001-06:00

So the "baby high" started to wear off around midnight and Kenny thought that after 42 hours of being awake it might be a good idea for ME to get some rest. Ah, thanks honny! I fed Graham one last time and quickly dozed off...until 30 minutes later when he woke up hungry again. And that would be the re-occuring theme of the past 3 hours. Ahhhhhh! The lil stinker slept ALL day and barely made a peep, and has decided that 12-4am would be party time with mommy. Maybe he just doesn't want to miss his big 24 hour birthday celebration?! Anyone one else wanna come join us?

The First 12 Hours

2010-02-03T18:56:00.000-06:00

We made it! We survived the first 12 hours of Graham's life, pretty sure it's just gonna get easier from here, right?! I still can't believe he belongs to us, I catch myself doing double takes all the time...could be that it's now been 36 hours since I last slept?? Graham has been making up for last night by being a PERFECT angel all day! Smart kid! He hasn't made a peep (other than snorts), has pooped 4 times already, and is eating like a champ. I can't complain.

We've loved having visitors today, especially the ones that bring chocolate!! Graham even got to meet his older sisters earlier this afternoon. (They lifted the no-sibling restriction last Friday!) Tori was a little freaked out at first, then begged to hold him. We laid him on her lap on the bed and after a minute Tori rolled him off and said "Bonk" as he fell off her lap. Lovely! Better get used to it lil guy!! Kenzi absolutely loved holding her lil brother and can't wait for him to come home and live with us.

Graham's Special Delivery

2010-02-03T11:19:00.000-06:00

I can’t believe he’s here! I keep looking at him in my arms and wondering where he came from, and who gave him to me to hold? It might be because I’m feeling a little delirious; I have now been awake for 27 hours straight! Or it could be that I’m still in shock from the unexpected turn of events his delivery took early this morning. Let’s just say the way Graham entered this world was NOT in our birth plan!
The last update Kenny posted was at 1:30am when I was 9cm. The midwives were confused about why things were taking so long, they thought for sure it would go quickly. One of them finally asked if they could check to see if there was another bag of waters, and when she did, she discovered that Mr. Graham was O.P. (Occiput Posterior). Not good. We tried everything to get him to turn over the next few hours, but he wanted nothing to do with it. Either did I. I have NEVER been in so much pain in my life. I screamed, I kicked, I cried, I think I even yelled that I wanted to die. I was able to get a pain shot moments before pushing, but trying to get through the previous 10 hours at 8-9 cm without any pain meds had definitely taken its toll. I was so frustrated that I had fought through it for so long, for nothing. I wouldn’t wish an O.P. baby on anyone…unless they had an epidural! Here are some fun facts Kenny and I have learned about O.P. babies:

• When a baby descends into the pelvis with the face up, a woman will typically start to complain of lower back pain and uncomfortable contractions days or weeks before her due date, and become increasingly frustrated, impatient, and sleep-deprived. Time goes by, the pain continues, and there is no sign that true labor has begun, no cervical change or fetal descent. Then, when labor does finally get going and the woman mentions that her contractions are strongest in her back, optimism for a fast, straightforward labor and birth begins to fade, and, as the day or night wears on with more pain, little progress, and, finally maternal exhaustion and pleas to do something, the reality of the situation becomes unavoidable. The incidence of persistent occiput posterior babies at delivery is about 5.5%
• Nothing can prepare a mother for the severe unremitting pain that accompanies labor when the baby is in a posterior position. Often, labor begins with short, painful yet irregular contractions which are often shrugged off by care givers as "false labor". It may not be productive as the ill fitting posterior head is not properly applied to the cervix, but the mother IS experiencing discomfort! She is often sent home to wait for "real labor" to begin but is unable to sleep and often unable to eat, sometimes for several days. So, adding to the stress of a painful back labor, we begin with a mother who is already tired out! I have heard women describe the pain as "it felt as though someone were sawing my back in half" or, "I couldn't even tell when I was having contractions because my back hurt so much!". All attempts to ease the pain have little effect and the labor is a long, hard exercise in determination.

Welcome Graham Tyler Nash!

2010-02-03T06:04:00.000-06:00

We are happy to announce the arrival of Graham Tyler Nash at 5:24am February 3rd 2010. Baby and Mom are healthy, happy and exhausted. Details to follow after some much deserved rest. What an amazing blessing!

Graham Tyler Nash
8lbs 1oz
20 3/4"

Take a Guess

2010-02-03T01:27:00.000-06:00

If there is actually anyone out there still up and reading this take your best shot at what time you think he will arrive. Brit is out of the shower again with VERY painful contractions. We hope the next check in shows more progress. Closest guess gets to change the first poopy diaper!

2010-02-03T00:34:00.000-06:00

Brits now at 8cm and contractions are getting harder to breathe through. She is walking and spending time in the shower to keep things going strong. I am amazed at how well she is doing with no meds!

2010-02-02T23:30:00.004-06:00

Things are picking up and contractions are getting stronger. We are walking the hallways hoping for a quick delivery. The nurses keep laughing each time we walk by because Brits smile gets bigger as the pain gets more intense.

2010-02-02T22:42:00.001-06:00

Brits water broke on its own at 9pm. Contractions are now 3 minutes apart and she is very comfortable in the shower!

All Checked In

2010-02-02T21:27:00.000-06:00

Brit was sitting on the couch watching American Idol at 7pm, at 7:05 she shot up and started pacing the room. The contractions came from out of nowhere and were pretty much on top of each other. After 20 minutes of straight contractions, we decided it was time to call the midwife! She told us to race in, she didn't want this baby born in the car. Auntie Jilly came to stay with the girls in record time and we started the 25 minute drive to the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 8:00. They got Brit in a room right away and checked her, she was 7cm already. There are 5 other moms in labor right now, and Brit is walking the halls to stay distracted. The midwives say it's a race to see who will deliver first.

2010-02-02T19:56:00.001-06:00

We're goin in!!! Contractions came out of nowhere, 3 min apart. Praying this is not another false alarm :(

Baby Update...

2010-02-01T22:59:00.000-06:00

...i'm still pregnant. At my midwife appointment today, we discovered I am a 5+, "almost" a 6! She said we could strip my membranes since my body is clearly ready to have this baby. She was optimistic about me being back tonight to deliver this lil guy. But I'm at home, after a long day of walking and other natural labor inducing tricks. Tired, emotionally spent, crampy from the membrane sweep...will someone just tell me to stop trying already?! This has been such an emotional roller coaster for me, a HUGE reminder that only God is in control. Maybe Graham is meant to be the world's fastest runner and God is putting the finishing touches on his tiny hamstrings...my husband would like that! I'm going to give in for the night and work on some projects to help take my mind off this MAJOR LIFE CHANGING EVENT THAT COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT. Ahhh...

(Good night Alyssa!)

Kenzi's Great Day!

2010-01-31T20:46:00.000-06:00

We're trying to give each of our girls some special one-on-one time before their little brother arrives! I got to spend the day with our monster, Tori, while Kenny took Kenzi out for her big day. They started the day with Jilly and Brent at Twins Fest where they got to meet some of the players, walk on the field, get Kenzi's face painted, paint a bat, and take pics with Bulls Eye. Kenzi even got to go in a jumper!! Auntie Jilly said she was in heaven and made her wait in line 6 times! After Twins Fest, Jilly took Kenzi to see Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea at the Children's Theatre. She loved the play!

Baby Update: No contractions for the past few days. Curious to see what my midwife says tomorrow!

Mtka Dance Team 09-10

2010-01-30T21:00:00.001-06:00

It has been such a crazy year coaching for the Minnetonka HS Dance Team! My friend Maggie asked me to come coach with her after she heard my previous team at Armstrong was no longer able to have their program. I have been coaching Varsity dance teams for the past 5 years, but I thought taking on a JV position would be a nice change. Let's just say this season was not at all what I had expected! I absolutely loved working with the JV girls and the Mtka parents are wonderful!!

I have decided to take a break from coaching for a few years so I can concentrate on my kids and be there for them whenever they need me. This was a very tough decision to make, I absolutely LOVE coaching dance! So today was bittersweet for me, my last competition as a coach...for now! The girls did a FABULOUS job today at Sections. I was so proud to be a part of their journey. I'm going to miss these girls!!

Sucks to be sick

2010-01-30T13:42:00.001-06:00

Last Wednesday, Kenzi came down with some terrible flu bug. She was such a brave girl and handled it so well. We were up with her every hour that night, it was so exhausting! Toria decided she didn't want to miss out on the fun, so she started getting sick on Thursday. Kenny and I stayed up with her throughout the night, tired, but thankful that we still felt fine. Friday night, it hit me, and it hit me hard. The pains from my stomach were so bad every time I got sick I wasn't sure I would get through the night. Poor baby Graham would kick like crazy after I finally stopped puking, which of course made it so much worse. I was delirious from pain and exhaustion by 3am, but there wasn't a thing I could do about it. By 6am, things were starting to get better, but I hadn't felt Graham move in a few hours. I tried all my tricks that usually made him move, Kenny tried talking to him, and we even played him some of his favorite music. We were about to head to the hospital when he finally made his move at 7:30am. That was possibly the longest few hours of my life. I managed to pull myself together and make it to my dance competition, but came home to a puking husband. At least we all took turns, huh! Now I'm just trying to focus on catching up on 3 nights of no sleep and healing my aching stomach muscles. I really want to have Graham naturally and I know that's going to take a well rested body!!

Our Birth Plan!

2010-01-29T20:51:00.000-06:00

We've never actually had a birth plan before, so we thought we'd create one this time! Of course, this would be best case scenario...I'm not holding my breath!

Home Labor Goals
• We would like to labor at home as long as possible, with our doula present, before going to the hospital.

• We will call our midwife when contractions are 5 minutes apart

• We will go to the hospital when contractions are 3-4 minutes apart and painful

Hospital Labor Goals

• We plan to have present at the birth and or labor: Midwife, Father- Kenny, Doula- Kelly Hagen

• The mother prefers not to have an IV administered unless determined to be required for another procedure to facilitate delivery.

• The mother prefers not to have a catheter unless determined to be required for another procedure to facilitate delivery.

• The mother would like to wear her own gown, although the staff may offer her a hospital gown.

• The mother would like the opportunity to be up out of bed as much as possible during labor, depending on her needs.

• The mother would like to be allowed snacks and water during labor if necessary to give her body the energy it needs.

• We would prefer to not use an electronic fetal heart monitor if possible

Birth Goals

• We are attempting to have a natural, un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention!!!

• We would like to be allowed to labor as long as it takes, with no time limit (within reason)

• We would prefer not to have the water artificially broken.
• We understand that there are procedures which may become necessary. Except in the case of an emergency, we ask that we be given the opportunity to accept or refuse any procedure or medication.
• We request that the least invasive or restricting versions of procedures be used.

Induction (if necessary)

• We ask that non-chemical induction methods be tried first: walking, breast stimulation, sexual intercourse.

Pain Management Goals
• We plan to handle pain with relaxation, massage and water (shower or tub).

Delivery Goals
• The mother prefers not to have an episiotomy unless determined to be medically necessary. She would first like to try perineal massage, support and warm compresses.
• If labor or delivery seems stalled, we would like the opportunity to try different positions (hands and knees, squatting, birth stools, etc.).
• We would like to have the baby placed on the mother's chest with skin-to-skin contact immediately after the birth and for the first 1 to 2 hours following the birth.

• We would like the initial examinations for baby done while baby is laying on mom.
• We would like to try to have the baby breastfeed as soon as possible.

Umbilical Cord

• We would like to allow time for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting the umbilical cord.

• Please offer the father the opportunity to cut the cord

Newborn Care Goals
• Please delay all procedures until we have spent some time with the baby, preferably as long as possible before leaving the labor and delivery room.
• We would like to be present at the baby's first bath.

Circumcision
• We would like the father to be present at the circumcision.

Cesarean Section (if necessary)• The mother would like to be conscious

• The mother would like the father present

• We would prefer that our baby breastfeed immediately or as soon as possible afterward in the recovery room.

• We prefer the baby and father remain in the recovery room with the mother.

Breastfeeding Goals

• We would like to establish breastfeeding. Please do not offer any bottles to the baby without parents' notification of a medical need.

• We would like to meet with a lactation consultant before leaving the hospital to have techniques checked.

Thank you for taking the time to help us achieve a natural childbirth for our baby!

What's goin on in there?

2010-01-29T15:43:00.000-06:00

This pregnancy has been so different than the others! I had a few BH (Braxton Hicks) contractions with Tori the last few weeks of pregnancy, but nothing like the ones I've been having the past TWO WEEKS with this little guy. I keep thinking "Today is the day!"...and 6 hours later the contractions disapear. At my midwife appointment last Monday, we got some exciting news. I was dilated 4-5cm already! My midwife laughed and actually had to check again just to make sure. She said to go home and get lots of rest, this baby was comin! Here we are, 5 days and many hours of painful contractions later, and I'm STILL pregnant. Wonder what he's doin in there that is so darn exciting??

WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY!!!

2010-01-18T18:02:00.001-06:00

Exciting news for the Nash family!

I am officially "3cm dialated and ready to go at any time" says my midwife!!! She warned us that because of the quick progress I have made since last week's appointment, things will probably move quickly from here on out. WOOHOO!!!!

We also met with Mackenzi's surgeon today to discuss her most recent tests and guess what...HER VERTEBRAE FUSED!!! She has recovered even better than they had imagined and she is now free to be a normal kid again :) The abnormal mass they saw a few months back is just a stubborn collection of spinal fluid from her surgery that won't re-absorb so they are not going to worry about it. Our brave girl just has to go back every year for follow-up tests.

Kenny and I just can't stop smiling today, WE ARE SO BLESSED!!!! Thank you God for wrapping your loving arms around us constantly!

Brit's Birthday Night Out!

2010-01-12T15:27:00.000-06:00

I got to go to my favorite restaurant with my favorite people for my birthday! I met all of these girls when Mackenzi was just a few months old through ECFE and we have been friends ever since. They were so sweet to join me at Ichiban's to celebrate my bday! THANK YOU!!!

When I got home (at 11:00pm) Mackenzi was waiting up for me with a very special birthday cake.
It was a green dinosaur heart cake... so sweet!

Mackenzi's Hospital Visit

2009-12-28T14:57:00.001-06:00

We are praying that today will be the last time our sweet girl has to go through medical testing!! She is scheduled for another follow-up MRI and CT of her spine today at Children's. We know she is always in good hands there, but it's never easy to watch her go under and wait in the waiting room for hours hoping everything went well. I hate feeling helpless!

Kenzi was a super star again today as they got her ready for sedation. The older she gets, the harder this process is becoming. She knows that the doctors will need to cause her some pain, but she doesn't understand why we let them hurt her. I really hope this is OVER!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T14:51:00.001-06:00

We had a fabulous Christmas this year! We are usually stressed through the holiday trying to figure out how to fit all of the family celebrations in, so this year we gave up and decided to start a new tradition! We didn't get to see everybody, but we were able to enjoy our time with the family we could see. I know we are not the only ones to deal with this dilemna...what do YOU do???

Kenny the Chef

2009-12-23T15:34:00.001-06:00

My husband is becoming quite the chef these days! I love to volunteer him to make food for my many organizations. The most recent request was a Christmas Layer Cake. We had made a rainbow version of this cake a few weeks earlier for Mops (which won "Treat of the Week")!

Kenzi's 4th Birthday!

2009-12-17T23:23:00.025-06:00

Mackenzi celebrated her 4th Birthday today!!! We were so excited to wake her up this morning and tell her she was 4 now. She looked down at herself and got very sad, "But I can't be 4 yet, I'm still small". I think she was expecting to grow a few feet taller over night! After we had her convinced that WE thought she got bigger over night, she informed us that she wasn't actually 4 until her party started.

We had sprinkle donuts for breakfast and then let her open her presents, she was on top of the world! She spent the next few hours playing with her new Tinkerbell Leapster, we couldn't believe how well she picked up the games. It's amazing what kids can teach themselves! After a quick run to the airport and a much needed nap for the girls, the guests started to arrive. Mackenzi was so excited to see everyone and was quite entertaining all night. There were several dance recitals, Jesus songs, and of course, outfit changes!

We are so proud to have Mackenzi as our daughter, she is definitely a special one! We are excited to see what God has in store for her this year!

I'm done

2009-12-15T12:09:00.000-06:00

It's official, I'm done. I made it 32 weeks and I have decided I am done being pregnant. I don't think that's how it works, but I just thought I'd share my opinion. I can't sleep because of the heartburn, I'm pretty sure he has broken all of my ribs, I can't drive my car without the steering wheel digging into my stomach, I can't release the emergency break because I can't reach it, I can't put on my socks and shoes, and the rest you don't want to know! So I'm done. All I want for Christmas is to NOT BE PREGNANT!!!! ( and to have a perfectly healthy baby boy of course!)I better go find Santa...

Baby Boy Names!

2009-12-13T21:20:00.000-06:00

We are strugglin...what do we name this baby boy that keeps me up all night? We had such an easy time picking out the girls names, we weren't expecting this to be so hard. We have a poll on the right side of our blog, tell us what your vote is!

Christmas Cards

2009-12-11T23:37:00.000-06:00

I am going through some intense nesting these days! We've had all our christmas presents wrapped under the tree for a week and even ordered our Christmas cards in November. I was feeling so proud until I looked closer at our lovely Christmas cards...I forgot to put our names on them. Nice work huh! So, Merry Christmas from the family sitting on the beach with 2 kids will have to suffice for this year. Ha!

HP Giveaway!

2009-12-11T22:51:00.002-06:00

So MckMama is giving away an amazing computer. Check out her blog to see how you can win it! http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html

Where do I start???

2009-12-11T15:28:00.000-06:00

Ok fellow bloggers, where do I start? Our family has had so many adventures before the birth of our blog! I guess I'll just post about past events in my spare time...ha!

Visiting Trinity

2009-12-11T15:20:00.001-06:00

I just got to visit the most precious little girl at Gillette's! Trinity was born with Spina Bifida and has already survived many surgeries. When I walked in, she was laying on her daddy's lap...it was such a sweet sight. I just love daddy-daughter moments like those! Trinity's mom, Miranda, is in my Mops group at church and has been an amazing inspiration to me through all of this. It was so nice to spend time with her today and get a glimpse into her life. Check out Trinity's blog http://babygirlarthur.blogspot.com

My first ever blog post!

2009-12-10T14:39:00.002-06:00

After failing to keep up with all of the different sites our family has, I have finally decided to join the rest of the world and create our Family Blog! My goal is to post some of the crazy moments of our almost never dull life with 2 small children (soon to be 3!). I have no idea what I am doing or when I will find time to blog, but am feeling motivated to try, so here goes! Feel free to follow along...

Toria Ellen Nash- Welcome to the world

2008-04-24T23:48:00.003-05:00

Tori was born today! We went to the hospital at 8am for our induction because of my gestational diabetes. I was able to labor for a few hours on my own with no pain meds. My OB recommended that I skip the regular epidural and get a "walking epidural" that would last only 2 hours instead. I got my shot and started counting down the minutes until I would be holding my baby girl! About 2 1/2 hours later, the pain started to return and my OB was no where to be found. I had to push and deliver Tori drug free, a painful experience I never want to remember! Tori came out absolutely perfect and looking just like her older sister.

Birth Date : 04/24/2008
Birth Weight: 7 lbs 5 oz
Birth Length: 20 in
Birth Time: 2:57 pm
Birth Place: Fairview Southdale

Mackenzi Rae Nash- Welcome to the world

2005-12-17T23:40:00.003-06:00

Mackenzi was born today! I started having contractions yesterday around lunchtime. Kenny and I were at the mall running errands, I wouldn't let him take me to the hospital until I had finished shopping. The check out lady at Target almost died when she realized I was doubled over from the pain of a contraction! We drove to the hospital at 5pm when the contractions started getting closer together. Not a good time to be on Hwy 62! I was in labor for 12 hours, pushed for 30 minutes, and welcomed our baby girl with open arms at exactly 5:50am. She came 3 weeks early so her Bilirubin levels were very high. She had to spend 5 days on the bilibed, but other than that she was perfect!

Birth Date : 12/17/2005
Birth Weight: 6 lbs 2 oz
Birth Length: 18.5 in
Birth Time: 5:50 am
Birth Place: Fairview Southdale

Tyson

2004-09-01T23:38:00.000-05:00

We got a puppy! Tyson is a pure bred Pug. He loves to chew on Kenny's ears and snuggle up with us.

The Honeymoon

2004-08-01T23:23:00.001-05:00

We honeymooned in the Poconos at a couples resort. The whole week was geared towards couples on their honeymoon...it was so much fun!!! We stayed in a very romantic 3 level suite with our own pool and champagne glass tub. Every morning there was an itinerary on our doorstep, it was a dream come true for me. Kenny won the Ping-Pong tournament, he shines his trophy every day.

The Wedding

2004-07-31T22:57:00.000-05:00

We were married on July 31st, 2004.

Brit's Wedding Day memories:
Getting my hair and make-up done with the bridesmaids and looking at myself in the mirror with my veil on.
Stopping at JoAnn Fabrics on the way to the church to pick up a few things
Finding out my girlfriend told Kenny to open his "Groom Gift" without me, and missing his reaction to his fancy new massage chair.
Walking into my bridal suite at the church and seeing all the beautiful decorations my sister's friends had surprised me with!
Trying to eat chocolate without getting it on my dress.
Waiting for Kenny to come see me in my dress for the first time!
Opening my "Bride Gift" from Kenny...a cell phone. I was torn between going off to play with my new phone and getting married!
Taking my last deep breath as a single girl before walking down the aisle.
Seeing Kenny at the end of the aisle waiting for me!
Singing praise songs during the ceremony.
Lighting everyone's candles and hoping we didn't start the church on fire.
Saying my vows
Asking Kenny if we should run after we were finally announced husband and wife
Getting in the hot old car with no AC Kenny had rented for us...his only job!
Waiting for Kenny to finish puking from heat exhaustion before going into the reception.
Cutting the cake
Family speeches
Dancing forever

Kenny's Wedding Day memories: